Kypris's Posts

Venus Conjunct Pluto

“Don’t be scared…this is the type of subtle yet powerful intensity that poems were written about, wars were fought over and long-lasting alliances were forged from.”–astrology.com

Intensity, yes, that is definitely what I’ve been feeling—like the power inside me could change the world. The intense transformation of Pluto combined with the desire of Venus–dizzying. I’m being given the power at this moment to use my desire to transform my life. What a blessing.

I could choose to direct this energy toward bringing True Love into my life. Indeed, in the past I often chose to focus outward. This time I choose to direct the strength of my desire toward a deep and powerful love affair with myself. I choose to allow that love to eventually explode into a supernova of love for everyone around me, and into love for Spirit. I feel…strange the last few days. Something new is emerging from the depths of my soul—buried treasures. My yoga teacher reminded me today that seeds sprout from deep within the earth, and that while that process is happening we cannot see it. Something is definitely sprouting within my heart, something strange and new. I feel confused and spacey a lot these last few weeks. Overcome with how perfect every human is, and how beautifully they fit into the plan, I keep melting into the deep rightness of all things.

Today’s Horoscope

“Stop worrying about what you want in the present moment and set your sights on a more significant long-term goal.”–google.com

For the last several weeks I have been working hard at keeping focused on the future I want to create for myself, which includes a life partner that is in alignment with the life I already have. I don’t want a white knight to rescue me, and I don’t want to settle for anything less than a full match. It’s a great time to focus on getting thoroughly grounded in the parts of my life that are not about a partner.

It’s challenging. I miss the regular company of charming men. I miss their smell, their touch, their stimulating daily conversation. I miss reaching for the phone to share really great news with a special someone. Ok, yes, and let’s be honest. I miss the beautiful deep tantric sexual connection that gets created for me with a committed partner. It’s a test of faith for me, faith that Spirit really can bring me the perfect life partner if I work on creating a reflection of that person within myself. I am growing to be something completely different on the surface that is actually a full expression of what has always been buried deeply within. I am learning to delight in my freedom, instead of being afraid to fly. Somedays I get so giddy from knowing that I can do whatever I want that I fall back into bed…alone and yet not lonely.

Last month I wrote about the first part of my journey to manifesting the beloved, and how I met my Spirit Lover. This month I want to share with you the next part of my journey to manifest a nourishing and growthful life partner relationship. Ironically a lot of the work on this path has been about being with myself. When I first met my Spirit Lover two years ago and took vows to give up primary partnership with a human man for a year, I moved into a time of spending 3 nights per week with myself. I knew this would be challenging because I had 3 lovers in my life at that time. But I was determined. I knew that I needed that time with Spirit and with myself, to rediscover who I was. How could I attract an ideal partner without a knowledge of myself? (more…)

Book Oracle

“For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”–Albert Einstein

Lately I am playing with time. Sliding back and forth through past and future, I am walking through day and night dreams. My shamanic muscles are getting stronger—And with that strength comes clearer seeing, and deeper healing of wounds from the past in this life and other lives. I keep wondering how long it will be before I get to the bottom of it all.

My love life has gotten extremely quiet. With all the deep reflection I’ve been doing over the last three weeks, I didn’t miss the presence of men. But now as I am starting to come back to life and to awareness, I’m feeling kind of set adrift. Several of the men I’ve been dating, who are also friends, seem to have vanished from my life. I am trying hard to not to take it personally, but instead to see it as a message about Spirit’s will for me. And here is the pickle: there is one person in particular that I would love to spend time with right now, to reach out to and ask for time together. But with that person there is a pattern that echoes my wounded past. A healthy future me would probably walk away, and let it stay vanished. And in my daydream today I continue to hear this: ”Learn to love what is healthy for you.”

Mercury Quincunx Jupiter

“To say that you’ll be walking a fine line won’t quite do today’s balancing act justice. Your best defense is to listen well and only speak when spoken to.”–astrology.com

Part of this path of inner exploration that I’ve been on includes looking at the things in me that might be contributing to disharmony in relationship. Not only am I spending time learning to love myself instead of needing that from outside, but I’m also learning to look deeply at ways I defend against being vulnerable. Vulnerability is uncomfortable for me, and creates a desire to run away, either physically or emotionally. One of the ways I defend is to talk instead of listening. Today’s horoscope is a great reminder of this, and in fact I was also reading about this defense today in my morning meditation. Clearly Spirit wants me to listen.

So on that note, I want to ask all of you reading this today, how do you defend against being vulnerable, how do you keep your partner at a distance to feel safe? Facebook or email me privately if you don’t want to tell the whole world. I would love to hear from you.

Venus Sesquiquadrate Mercury

“Oh, what the heck. Haven’t you held on to this long enough? Sure you have. Look at your present, and forget the past.”– astrology.com

Actually, I prefer to look at the present and HEAL the past. This is what happened for me last night. I had a powerful shamanic healing last night of the circumstances around my birth. Healing the separation that I felt from my mother at that time, somehow magickally led to healing in the dreamtime with my former beloved. This is unusual because I wasn’t really thinking about him during or after healing, and in fact in all the time that we were together I hardly ever dreamed about him.

But last night he walked through the dreamtime with me most of the night. In dream after dream his high self came in to work with me. It felt like a healing and a closure between us that I wanted in everyday life, that just wasn’t able to happen for some reason. I dreamed of us talking, becoming friends. Of him holding me in a way that wasn’t passionate, but just comforting and loving. And when I woke from this dream I felt happy and satisfied. Like something had been shifted and completed. Aho.

Saturn Square Sun

“Don’t do anything rash. You might feel that you’ll never be able to give or receive affection again, but honestly — this, too, shall pass.”—astrology.com

I have been sitting in the place for a few weeks now of feeling very sad about all the relationships that haven’t worked out so well over the last year. I’ve been grieving through journaling, meditating, walking, and listening for guidance from Spirit. I’ve been feeling rather quiet, and actually am quite happy that I haven’t felt the need to take any action other than just being with myself.

My mentor pointed out to me this morning that this quiet time is in balance with my usual way of being in the world—that I spend so much time with people both in my work and in my play, that it is ok to be in solitude and quiet for a time. She reminded me that I am learning a deeper practice of acceptance than I have ever known before. It was a relief to remember that this limbo I have been feeling stuck in is actually an essential process. This is how I move from awareness about my patterns and behaviors to a healthy place of taking action to change those things. This is how I am getting more deeply in touch with who I am, and what I like, and what I want. I know that this will make me a better partner when that time comes. But the time is not now. And I am content.

Sun trine Neptune

If you glance down and find yourself wearing a pair of ruby slippers (figuratively speaking, at least) don’t be disturbed. Only by clicking your heels together three times can your dreams come true.

Perhaps this aspect in the heavens explains the dreaminess I have been feeling. I have been catching myself staring into space at nothing quite often lately. It’s as if I am trying to part the veil of the mystery around me, to see the truth that lies beneath it. I have been dreaming while awake, while my sleeping dreams have been vague and quiet. If I had the magick slippers right now I would use them to reveal the mystery of love to me, to strengthen my connection to the universal love that is always all around us. For now I am connecting to the world of nature to find more of that love.

Yesterday I took a walk through the oak woods near a river and got reconnected to the sacred waters that flow through the land near my house. I sat on a rock in the middle of the stream and watched the water flowing over rocks and plunging into a stream making bubbles and foam rise to the surface. I thought about Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, and how in her myths she retires to a magickal pool to replenish her virginity. I realized yesterday that this virginity is a euphemism for coming back to wholeness and freedom and self love. That even the Goddess needs to come back into solitude and tend to her self care to support her work in the world of alchemically loving so many. In the foam floating on the surface of the stream, I seemed to see her being reborn, as She was originally born from the foam on the ocean. After my time by the stream I felt renewed and refreshed, even though I had only cleansed my chakras in the water, rather than immersing my whole body. I rested sweetly in the remembering that all of nature is sacred, alive, and filled with lessons for me to learn, if I am willing to listen.

Grand Cross in Aries, Libra, Cancer, and Capricorn

“Now most of us have been feeling the intensification of the “weird factor”, a slippery synthesis of synchronicity and what appear as spontaneous, wormhole events.  The word “angel” means messenger, and at this Cardinal Cross initiation, the acceleration of quantum, angelic encounters can seem a bit daunting to handle, if at the same time inspired with fairy dust magic.”–astralshaman.com

To be honest, my love life and my outer life in general have been extremely quiet for the last few weeks. Through my shaman work, it’s become clear to me that it will not be time for a deep primary type of relationship for several months. Right now, the focus instead is on my teaching in the world, and on loving myself, resting, and getting to know myself better. For the last couple of days I have been in this sort of dreamy quiet place that comes in when I spend a lot of time alone. Even when I go out to be with friends for a little while, I find myself talking less and listening more. Sometimes it feels like I am on the edge of some grand vision or discovery.

The place that I feel fairy-dusted lately is in the world of nature. When I am simply in my yard working in the garden, meditating, or doing yoga, all sorts of odd things begin to happen. My connection to the part of nature that is alive with consciousness seems to deepen. Skunks pass by to say hello and then decide to move in under the deck (skunks are all about respect and learning proper use of your sexual energy). Hummingbirds hover in front of my third eye (hummingbirds are thought to carry the wisdom of the ancestors in my shamanic tradition). Sparrows perch next to me and chatter incessantly (sparrows teach about self love and are sacred to Aphrodite, my patron goddess). I am grateful for all these messages and for the loving and wise connection to nature. My task now is to be as open as I can to hearing them.

Mercury Trine Venus

“What you’ll really be in the mood for is your couch, your bathrobe and your favorite movie in the DVD player. Don’t give in to that urge until tonight.”–astrology.com

Last night I was visited by all the rabbits that have shared my life as companions over the years. In my dream, the rabbits were full of love as I stroked their ears and their cheeks. The truth is that I am a lover of rabbits just as much as I am a lover of men! Rabbit was my first totem animal. She is the soft vulnerable side of me that I show to very few people. In fact, when I am feeling rabbitish, I tend to do as rabbits do in Watership Down: “rabbit underground, safe and sound”.

Perhaps this is all just another way of saying that I am feeling Yin right now, wanting to just BE instead of DO. This is a great time to lie around in the back yard and read or crawl into bed with my laptop and watch my old favorite movies. This is my way of communing with the spirit of Rabbit. The rabbits I have lived with always demonstrated great balance between resting, grooming and being petted, eating, and playing. In this journey I am on to True Love, I am learning to balance these same basic things. Although I am dating, I am learning to focus on ME. Instead of wondering if I am going to have a date or what a certain man is up to, instead each day I focus on how I can love and give to myself as much as I have loved and given to all the men in my life. It is time not only for me, but for all the women that I know to remember that caring for ourselves and creating a life well lived is our most important task.