Broken Picker
by Kypris
June 22nd, 2010
“No, you never expected to actually be attracted to someone like him/her — but it happened. Don’t fight it.”–astrology.com
It’s the funniest thing. The men I am dating these days are not what I would call my “type”. I am naturally drawn to very rugged, earthy, bearded, masculine men. In the past my friends have often teased me about my predilection for the “mountain man”. But the men I am drawn to these days are more…full of light. They are very handsome, and some times I feel intimidated by that, not worthy. But their appearance isn’t what draws me. It’s the intensity and passion in their eyes. It’s their ability to be present, and their flawless instincts about how to create powerful energetic connections with me. Even though my experience with each of them feels very different, the common thread is this feeling of stepping outside my normal comfort zone. With both of them there is deep friendship, caring, and fiery sexual chemistry. But again, that’s not what draws me.
To be honest, the real pull is knowing that being in connection with them is Spirit’s will for me. When left to my own devices, and my own will, I tend to choose men who are not in alignment with me spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. I call this the “broken picker”. My particular life wounding has created a skewed perception with men, that is slowly healing and righting itself. Part of that healing is that I’ve stopped choosing partners in the old way—on my own. Instead I am listening to Spirit’s wisdom speak through my body. When a man asks me for a date, the first thing I do is to check in with my HEART and my BELLY (not my MIND) to see how it FEELS. If I sense any tension or contraction in my body, then I say no to the connection. But if I feel a tingling and expansion in my heart and a relaxed feeling in my belly, then I say YES. So much simpler to choose this way.
