Choices

Venus Semisextile Mars

Whether they’re nice about it or not won’t matter. You’ll know if you’re being rejected, and you won’t take kindly to it.–astrology.com

I spent a little time rolling in self pity this morning. For some reason today I woke up with thoughts about my recent breakup. Ugh, I’ve been trying to avoid those thoughts, mostly because they dredge up in me this sadness I’ve been feeling for a while now, about not being “chosen” as a primary partner.

It’s a repeating theme in my love life for the last several years, and one that activates a deep sense of loneliness and isolation. It seems that almost everyone I know has a primary partner except me….even all my lovers. When I start looking at things this way then the self pity rolls in. I have this belief that I am “too much”, “too intense”–mostly because I’ve been told that over and over by my partners AND my friends. My astrologer friend tells me it’s because I have a number of planets in Scorpio, that the trick is to attract a partner who wants all that intensity.

So I keep reminding myself that I can keep focusing on my daily tantric practice of seeing my ideal partner and attracting him to me. I can let go of the self pity and realize that everything is perfect in the eyes of Spirit. When I feel into that, into accepting that this is the way life is right now, I feel a deep peace, and I relax. I know that it’s all already handled for me, and the only thing I have to do is breathe, open my heart, and live life to the fullest.