Why Do I Connect to Spirit

Connecting to Spirit is the foundation of all my practices and the first gateway in our spiritual teaching. I have come to a place where I base all my decisions on what is in my best and highest good. When I have a choice to make I ask myself “What is the most loving thing Steven can do for Steven?”. Then I sit and listen to my intuition, my heart, and the quiet voice within. Cultivating the ability to hear this inner voice, the voice of Spirit, and distinguishing it from the ego voices in my head, is what I mean by Connecting to Spirit.This was not an easy thing to learn for me. First I had to try and do things on my own. I thought that if I tried hard enough I could control the outcome of my life. I am smart and I tried very hard to control the world so that everyone would love everyone. This seemed like a noble cause, but I learned the hard way that it was not in my power. On top of that, it was very unhealthy for me to interfere with other people’s choices. For me, before I could truly connect with Spirit, I had to come to believe that I could not control other people, places, or things. When I let go of controlling, my connection to Spirit becomes much easier.

How do I integrate my sexuality with this connection to Spirit? I do it in every way!

When I am physically with someone, I feel into this connection and use it as my guide. I can use it to sense boundaries within myself. To guide me in how I touch, kiss, and make love. This allows me to let go of expectations and let new experiences come into my lovemaking. This is RED tantra. I know when I slip from this place of connection to Spirit because I feel a desire to control the situation, to get somewhere. Usually it’s a desire to get to an orgasm, either mine or my lover’s. I know from lots of experience that even if I achieve my goal, when I am in my will it is never very satisfying.

When I am communicating with someone about something challenging, I also feel into my connection with Spirit. I use it again to set healthy boundaries. What part of this conversation is my responsibility? Am I feeling defensive, hurt, happy, or loving? Would it be in my best and highest good to just listen and feel my feelings, or to energetically shift the conversation with a hug, a tickle, or a spin? Or do I need to detach with love? I could say:

“Honey, I honor what you are feeling but I am not in a place to hear it right now. I would love to set a time in the future for us to talk about this. Would you be willing to do that?”

If the answer is yes, then we set a time and let go of the problem by feeling that connection to Spirit, knowing that something bigger than us is there to handle the problem for us until we come back together to talk about it. If the answer is: “No, I need to talk about it now!”, you can still detach with love by removing yourself physically. I detach with love when my connection to Spirit is not that strong. I have learned that it is never helpful for me to talk about hard subjects when I can not feel my connection to Spirit.

When I am walking through the world, I connect to Spirit by breathing in the beauty of it all. If I see a beautiful woman, I can take a deep breath in and honor her beauty without pushing beyond our boundaries.When I began this practice and someone cut me off in traffic, I could scream “you fucker!” and then let it go. Now that I am further along in my journey, I can take a deep breath, feel my fear of almost getting in an accident, and feel empathy for that person, and what is making them behave that way. Then once again, I can let it go. Nowadays I know that the serenity I feel from connecting with Spirit is more important to me than fixating on how poorly someone else drives.

Why do I connect to Spirit? The simple answer is that when I do, my life flows more easily and joyously. That’s not to say that I don’t get curve balls thrown at me, but with this connection I somehow navigate them better.

Namaste,

Steven Jay