Journey to Sexual Wholeness, Book Excerpts

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Sitting on the edge of an active volcano, I feel the gritty black rock warm under my feet as lava flows beneath it and out into the ocean. Surrounded by a darkness lit only by my headlamp, I gaze out to the sea and watch red molten rock push itself out of the ground and fall into the water. A vast cloud of vog (volcanic fog) rises into the air and drifts over the stark black landscape, instant death to any hapless human or animal who inhales it. A few feet in front of me, a crack in the earth reveals the liquid fire of lava running beneath it. I shiver in fear and in awe as I sit on this point of the creation of worlds, and feel the place where Earth, Water, Air, and Fire come together to create. Goddess Pele's power flows through me, soothing my fear and initiating me into a fiery wisdom that I will carry back from the Big Island of Hawaii to my life at home in San Diego. I breathe Her in and feel my sexual self open and unfold with a deep fire that feels like lava flowing within me. Back safe in my bed later that night, I open in lovemaking to a deep and fiery connection with my partner, and in that connection I am like the volcano, fiery and vast and strong. The fear has left me, and in its place is the utter certainty that the power of Pele and the burning rock now live within my soul.

I cannot create a spiritual practice from discipline alone. Moving me from within, Spirit takes hold of me again and again to push me into places I would never have the discipline or courage to go to on my own. It is challenging to create motivation for anything in my life without this inner urge of Spirit. I have seen over and over again, that using my will to force myself to do something that is not motivated by this deep inner urge of Spirit does not serve me. In the end I find that doing anything because I think that I "should" does not help me to grow or be happy. A practice of sacred sexuality, like any other practice, must come from a place of longing inside you--longing for a better sexual connection with your partner, longing for more joy and ecstasy in your life, or longing to commune with God.

Instead of using force of will, muse and map your way into time and space for your spiritual growth by combining the feeling of what is right for you in the flow of your day, and what is practical. I usually do this practice through grabbing a box of markers and a sketch book anytime I want to add a new thing to my life. I draw the week and fill in all the things I normally do, then in a bright bold new color, I feel into where I should put my new activity. Sometimes I have to start over because the first or second map I create doesn't feel right to me once I've created it. It is important to sit with your little map and see how it feels inside. Does it feel hard? Like duty or obligation? Then it will never work! Look to create a map that excites you, that revs you up, that awakens a "yes! I can do this!" inside you. That is when you know that you have the perfect map. Once you've completed your map, hang it up somewhere you will see it every day as you are beginning your new practice--the refrigerator, the bathroom mirror, your dresser, your altar. Make it important and real to yourself. Then spend some time in meditation imagining yourself doing the new activity at the time you have mapped out each day. Imagine how you will feel as you are doing it. These feelings are the key to success.

Blessings of Love,
Kypris