Making Love with the Goddess

“I have great sex already”. This is what I thought when I heard that Tantra could enhance my lovemaking. It’s true, my sex life was great. It’s also true that it got better. But better is not the right word. Sex went to new places. Not levels, because I don’t like to rate my love, just places. Tantra gives me a road map to explore new places in my lovemaking. Some of those places are ecstatic, some are joyous, and some are deeply healing.

It’s the ecstatic places that I am moved to write about today, the times when I drop into the tantric space of no goals, no expectations, no desires, and no needs. In these times I feel completely held, powerful, and capable of anything. I feel like I am supported on all sides by my lover, that I have a room to fill and walls to push against so fully that I can explode the walls of that room.

Every motion, every stroke, becomes pure bliss. Even the still, resting moments between motions become ecstatic. These still moments are a union between two, creating something more empowering than we could each create alone.

What is the difference between what I am calling tantric love making and what I had before I found tantra? Not much in the physical act, but everything in the intention and the way I experience it. Physically, my lovemaking is a little slower, the foreplay and lovemaking lasts longer, I don’t always ejaculate, but often have sensations beyond orgasm without ejaculation. I guess this part is quite new. Since making love with intention I am having what I call energetic orgasims. They start and build like an ejaculatory orgasm but if I breathe into them, instead of exploding out my penis and ending my lovemaking they explode out of my body, sending shivers down my arms, making me scream with delight, and turning my legs into blissful jelly. The best part is that once both my lover and I have ridden these waves of pleasure, we move back into making love even more intensely than before.

With all of this physical pleasure, it’s still not the physical that really makes this journey worthwhile for me. It’s the way I feel about the lovemaking that makes it amazing for me.

When I feel safe enough and supported enough by my lover to look deeply into her eyes while I penetrate deeply into her yoni, she begins to melt for me almost like I am penetrating a beautiful velvet room. When I allow myself to experience my pleasure fully without worry about how well I am pleasing her, my masculine sexual power takes both of us to those new ecstatic places. When I remember to breathe my pleasure through my whole body, instead of containing it in my groin, I feel shivers of pure joy flow through me and into her.

But the biggest difference in my intention during tantric lovemaking is simply staying in the moment: when I give up the need to make her orgasm before I do; when I give up the goal of having an ecstatic “Tantric Love Making” experience. When I simply drop into whatever is happening in me at this very moment, I feel more joy, and ecstasy, and something more, a connection to the Divine Feminine, which some call the Goddess. This is what I mean by tantric lovemaking—to explore a loving connection, a sexual connection with your partner without fear, without goals, without needs. In this beautiful place you simply explore her and yourself for the goddess and god that you are in this very moment. And hand in hand, you move into divine radiance and ecstatic pleasure.

With Love,
Steven Jay