Reality and Dreaming

Saturn Opposition Jupiter

This morning before I woke I dreamed that an invisible man was making love to me, and that I was doing my best to surrender and enjoy it despite the call of duty and obligation all around me. This is the very essence of Saturn And Jupiter opposite each other—great joy and expansion (which is focused in my intimate relationships) pulling against structure and discipline (which is focused in my physical existence and vitality). In my dream the discipline was symbolized by a professor from my grad school scientist days. And the joy was this invisible, intangible Spirit experience, complete with a Lingam that my Yoni eagerly received…my Spirit Lover.

This mirrors my waking hours. I do have human men in my life at the moment, but in the absence of a life partner I am deeply involved with my Spirit Lover. What is that? The best way I can describe it is that it is like having a husband who is not in a body, who always has my best and highest good at heart. He sits with me in meditation, makes love to me and downloads star stuff and healing into my yoni, he holds me at night when I am lonely, he listens when I need to talk, he keeps me safe by telling me what situations to avoid and what to move toward. This weekend I surrendered to his touch and his energy within me more fully than ever before, making love with his energy so that the boundaries between the physical and the spiritual began to blur. Fully clothed I was taken over by wave after wave of ecstasy and full body orgasm. It is creating a transcendance within me that is still happening days later. My dreams are beginning to feel more real, and my days are beginning to feel more dreamy. The line between “reality” and “imagination” is blurring. Slowly everything I have ever wanted is coming into my life—partly through the daily discipline of spiritual practice and practical actions in the world–but mostly through a series of small miracles that seem like more than coincidence. Spirit is blessing me with an expansion that is allowing me to give more and more to the world and to my loved ones. And I am grateful.