When you enter the fourth gateway you open up to unlimited possibility, to miracles on a grand scale. Practicing the previous gateways you have connected to Spirit, opened to Love, and reclaimed your Power. Now is the time to revel in your aliveness and manifest your dreams.

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The third gateway is about finding your power. Without power in yourself and owning your ability to create change in the world, you make no progress, and experience no learning. Power is not power over others, and it is not selfish. Power is the courage to change and grow.

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Last month I wrote about the First Gateway of Spirit and how it has transformed my life. This month I want to share with you about the Second Gateway of Love.

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The Six Gateways are like a labyrinth. I travel them over and over, spiraling in to my center, finding Spirit, Love, and Power–then spiraling out to the world and becoming Freedom, Balance, and Union with all creation.

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When people ask me to define tantra, I often begin by explaining that although tantra in the United States focuses a lot on sexuality, traditionally tantric spirituality is about all parts of life. It is a path of finding enlightenment through the body.

What does that mean? (more…)

Today has been a beautiful one–the weather is fabulous, I had a wonderful client session this morning, and a fabulous lunch date with a very attractive man. And yet even with all these blessings and pleasures, I am feeling unhappy about the need to sit at my computer and work. I am tired of that feeling of slogging away and wondering how to get back to a place of passionate spirit and joy.

I feel that same vibe in my relationship. I know that we have a number of serious issues to address, but I just don’t want to. I want to put my head in the sand and play and pretend that those things will just go away. One issue in particular is challenging for me, that lately I’m having trouble finding motivation to do deep tantric red practice with my beloved. We make love often and it feels wonderful, but I haven’t been able to motivate myself to add deep tantra to that mix.

In some ways I know this is just a case of balance coming into my life, but in others I can feel for sure that I am avoiding real intimacy. I know there are deeper places that I can go with my beloved and I am really scared about opening my heart that wide. After all the ups and downs in my love life over the past few years, I am just plain tired and scared.

So today rather than trying to “push on through” I am relaxing and surrendering and trusting that things will move if and when they are meant to do so, as long as I hold the intention for healing and continue to do my own solo practice. It’s odd, but I have this sense that everything is going to be ok.

Just for today it’s work a little, play a little. Completing small tasks and then letting myself dance, eat soft serve ice cream and watch old “Star Trek” episodes. Aho Captain Kirk!

Last night I dreamed that I was given the loan of a beautiful chestnut mare for a day. She was too wild to ride, and had to be led at first by a rope halter tied to another horse (who of course was called Black Beauty!). By the end of the day, she and I were devoted to each other, but it was time to take her back to the farm, to those who owned her. She didn’t want to go back, and when we returned she tried to win the approval of the owner by putting on an apron and sweeping out the stalls (after all, this was a dream!). The owner insisted anyway that she be returned to her “holding tank”, sort of a giant warm soapy bath. I was sad, and petted her head to say goodbye, but she had already drifted into the land of dreams.

I know this beautiful horse is my own animal nature, which lately has been longing to come out and play more often. The sun was in Sagittarius when I was born, giving me a soul nature that is half horse and half human–half wild and physical, half cultured and spiritual . This dream speaks to an inner conflict that seems to arise in us all–finding the balance between work and pleasure, between animal and spirit, between upper and lower chakras. Lately my life has centered on hard work more than on sex, dance, art, and love, and I can feel that it is time for balance.

From this balance comes Power.

A lot of my students are telling me lately that they feel as if they are not in control of their lives anymore and I tell them my truth–none of us are. My life has taken some exciting and unexpected turns in the last few months. All of a sudden I am starting to effortlessly realize dreams that have long been buried. My relationship with my beloved, my trip to the Mountains of Colorado, and today an interview for a job that would engage my skills as a shaman and a dancer. These are things I never dreamed I could actually have, and they are dropping into my lap so rapidly. This is what happens when I let Spirit run my life, instead of me trying to force things to go MY way.

Whatever you can surrender and say yes to, do it. This is the true essence of tantra for me.

A new study just released found that stimulating the nipples in women creates activity in the same part of the brain as touching clitoris, vagina, or cervix. (http://www.livescience.com/15380-nipples-genitals-brain-map.html)

I love it when Science validates my experience.

For years I have been telling my partners that nipple stimulation is AS important as genital stimulation! One of my favorite ecstatic and blissful experiences of red tantra is the breast massage, because it stays focused on just the body, the heart, and the breasts, which for many women is a real treat.

To explore the breast massage check out my video at: http://www.yabyummy.com/store/videos/breast-massage.htm

Now there is evidence that blaming another person for what doesn’t work in your relationship is actually physically unhealthy for you. In a recent study (http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/17/bitter.resentful.ep/index.html?hpt=hp_c2), they found that resentment and bitterness towards others leads to heart disease and other serious ailments. This got me thinking about how bitter and angry I used to be.

Then one day I was listening to a friend talk about how painful it was to hear harsh words and criticism from his partner all the time. He told me that the word “Sarcasm” actually comes from a Greek word that means “To tear flesh”. I can still remember the light bulb going on in my head when I finally realized the immense impact of my behavior. The day that I apologized to my second husband for my behavior was a tremendous healing between us both, and I continue to be vigilant about letting these kinds of words leave my mouth.

I noticed this tendency creeping in again in my present partnership, and spent several days this last week meditating on kindness, love, and opening my heart. The result? A deep sweetness in my heart — I think it’s called acceptance, or maybe even LOVE.