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Embracing Ease

Kypris — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 23:39:11 +0000

In part one and two of this series, I shared with you about my perception of what true love is, and about safety and trust, the foundation of true love. In this blog, I’d like to share with you about my experience of the next step up on the true love pyramid: freedom and ease.

Freedom is where it begins, freedom within yourself to let go of worry and expectation about your relationships. The trouble with worry is that it isn’t productive. All it does is use up a lot of my energy and make me miserable in the present while I worry about the future. Expectation is no better, leading me to feel resentment about anything someone does that isn’t what I had wanted them to do. But the worst part for me is the suffering that goes along with worry and expectation, this whole swampy boggy place where I can wind up torturing myself about how the other person is behaving.

What I notice is two things: 1. I feel better when I don’t worry 2. Worrying about the relationship usually makes the relationship worse, not better.

Sometimes to let go I imagine my thoughts are like little biodegradable balloons, floating off into the atmosphere until they snag on something and pop. Other times, when a worry is too big for that method, I write it on a piece of paper and give it over to Spirit. Lately I like to insert that piece of paper into the Godseye dangling from my rearview mirror. The Godseye is a simple weaving that I made this year on my birthday to remind me that I am asking Spirit to help me manifest EASE in my life. It’s been about a month, and so far every problem or worry I have put there has resolved itself within a week, with a lot of EASE. Once that resolution happens, I burn the paper, offering thanks to Spirit for bringing an easy and serene solution.

Once I put those pieces of paper in there, or send those balloons off into the sky, I do my best to remember to breathe to bring myself fully into the present moment, where everything is ok. I do my best to appreciate the beauty of a sunset or the sound of birds singing outside my window. I meditate on Spirit’s plan and surrendering to that so I can let go. And then I get my mind off of the situation by playing. I play games, read books, dance, hula hoop. I cultivate a state of mind where I am a little child again. And then I realize that rather than focusing on THEM, I need to focus on my own life, and my own happiness. I remember that other people are not responsible for my happiness, That is MY job.

If I can do all this, really let go, then tremendous ease comes into the relationship. I no longer have any worry or expectations about that person that are getting in the way of my connection with them. Now admittedly some connections will be more easeful than others, because there is also that little issue of compatibility. It’s hard to be in relationship with someone if you don’t want the same things from that relationship. It is also hard to play with someone if you don’t like to play in the same ways. And it’s incredibly hard to communicate effectively if you don’t have the same communication styles. For me, part of true love is both partners being able to talk about things that matter to them and to be listened to and understood. But it is also about sharing time together doing things that feel good and refresh both of us.

In the end it boils down to this. If I want Ease in my relationships, then I have to cultivate it within myself. Just as trust in relationship grows from cultivating an inner safety, ease comes from cultivating inner freedom.To create an easy and playful relationship with another, you have to create an easy and playful relationship with yourself. If you have ease, and you have trust, then you are ready to open your hearts to unconditional love with each other.

The Dance: An Erotic Story

Kypris — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:21:33 +0000

My lover and I are dancing, and I feel that swirl of connection and love that I always feel when we are together. He is strong, and dips and twirls me so that my body melts and I surrender completely to the motion. As I surrender and let him lead me in the movement, I begin to feel arousal shoot down to my pelvis from my heart, and I imagine all the things that might come after the dance. He smiles, seeing my face, feeling the fire that’s burning through me from below, and he holds me a little tighter. Sexual force begins to rise up into my eyes, engulf ing me in waves of passion and desire for him.

He teases me, continues to dance, but his powerful and gentle hands begin to burn wherever they touch. I feel his fire pouring into me, and the waves of desire become almost unbearable, it becomes hard to stand, let alone dance, but somehow I do, I let him hold me up, and I give in to this passion. I become ecstatic on the dance floor, feeling desire, feeling love, feeling him pouring into me. Every part of my body starts to vibrate with sexual heat and spiritual communion. My lover looks at me, and his eyes arouse me even more, shooting into my heart and opening it so It is as big as the sky. I feel myself ready to receive him into my body, wanting him.

He takes me away from the dance floor, outside behind the bar where we are dancing. We tell our friends we are going out to “cool off”, but I have anything but coolness or rest on my mind. Outside the canopy of stars takes my breath away. Everything is so crisp and clean in the darkness, and I feel drunk on beauty. Out here I feel not only my desire for this man, but my desire for God to make love to me, until I am drunk with it and radiating light from every pore.

Tonight God is in human form, he shines through my lover’s eyes as he bends to kiss me, and soon we are entwined in such a passionate embrace that it feels like our bodies are locked together with silken threads. No possibility of coming apart at this moment. The Earth could split apart, and I wouldn’t notice. He kisses me tenderly, then passionately, changing the pace of the kiss so that I must follow him at every turn, another dance, this one with our lips. My heart starts to feel like a blazing cold sun, my whole chest tingling like it’s been shot through with novacaine, and that feeling shoots down between my legs and brings another kind of tingling in. I feel my vulva swell with desire and I instantly feel wet and hungry for him. I am opening more and more, like the ocean, starting to feel vast and wild and wet, and wanting him to dive into my most secret parts and discover me.

He cups my breast with one hand, while his other hand slowly slides down to my belly and the mound of my pubic bone. He presses and massages there, and I begin to gasp and moan, wishing he would enter me, touch me, anything to answer the throbbing in my deepest places for him. Finally he looks into my eyes and penetrates me there, shooting love and desire into me, and I feel his hand lift my skirt and find the lips of my vulva, stroking, massaging, circling, teasing, sending more fire into me.

My hips are moving now, I am moaning, and completely abandoned to him. I would lie down on the cold hard ground and make love with him here in front of anyone who would pass by, I am so much in the moment. I have lost all caring about what anyone else might see or think. I want only to feel him dive into me and to mingle our fires together.

Finally his fingers enter me, and they start to stroke my g-spot. I can’t wait any longer, I come with a force that takes my breath away, and thank the Goddess that we are outside as I gush warm wet amrita into the earth. Doing my best not to cry out as I come again and again, or is it just one big climax? I can’t tell, but it overpowers me and for a while all I can only see his eyes, feel his hand inside me, feel the God in him and the Goddess in me.

I lower my own hand to his lingam now, wanting to feel his manhood, his power, and his desire for me, wanting to give back to him and drink in his pleasure. I touch him gently at first, and his hands on me become more urgent, My hand finds its way inside his pants, and I feel his desire leap under my touch. He too begins to moan. I massage and stroke his lingam, his wand of light, and I feel the fire and desire pouring out of him. It arouses me again and my yoni throbs as I stroke him more firmly and more urgently, wanting to feel his passion, his arousal, his pleasure. His hips begin to move with the rhythm of my hands, and he is kissing me, stroking my breasts, stroking my innermost secret places. His movement becomes more urgent, and I feel him start to breathe deeply, moving the energy up and into the rest of his body. I breathe with him and feel the passion becoming more and more intense, Pouring back and forth between us, and shooting up through me. His whole body explodes into orgasm, and I come again as he does, both of us shaking and tremoring and feeling ecstatic in every pore. I feel waves and waves of pleasure, and a deep merging of our bodies and energies as I travel to some far-off place for a while, where everything sparkles and glistens, and I am full of joy.

He holds me for a while, and I feel our hearts and genitals and 3rd eyes joined. There is an indescribable flow of spiritual, sexual, and love energy flowing between us. We are both still energized and charged, ready for more lovemaking later, in the privacy of our bed, where we will go deeper…..

Kypris, Dakini and Shamanic Tantra Teacher holds a master’s degree in Biology, as well as a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, and is an initiated HeartWisdom Tantric Priestess. She is the author of “Journey to Sexual Wholeness, The Six Gateways to Tantric Sexuality”.

Yabyummy, is a love and intimacy school devoted to sharing with you our straightforward steps for bringing more peace, love and passion into your life and the lives of those around you.

How Do I Trust?

Kypris — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:44:44 +0000

In part one of this series, I shared with you about my perception of what true love is, and the four components of true love. In this blog, I’d like to tell you more about the foundation of the true love pyramid: trust and safety.

In my experience, trust is something that I establish with another person, and I can really only trust another person if I trust myself. For me, this ability to trust that I can take care of myself feels like safety. Safety is something that I create for myself through grounding, working my spiritual practice, releasing negative emotions, and being in my truth.

There are many ways that I can ground myself, but my favorites are exercise, proper nutrition and sleep. Sleep in particular is really important to me. Without it I feel off-balance, and I find that my decisions and judgment aren’t as good as they could be. When I was a new mother with a baby I got my first taste of how much a lack of sleep could throw me off balance. It was really hard to concentrate on anything, or to make a decision. Not only was my head fuzzy, but my body was always on the edge of exhaustion, sapping my physical strength and my immune system. When I was that tired, I felt really unsafe, and my fear leached into my relationship with my husband, creating a lot of demands on him that were a little bit unreasonable. When we hired a nanny and I started napping more and then taking one night a week to sleep in, life got easier, and the tension in my relationship eased.

My spiritual practice and continuing connection to Spirit also helps to keep me feeling safe. Knowing that Spirit is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to guide me helps me to relax and realize that if I follow the guidance of Spirit, if I really cultivate the art of listening, that I’m safe. Just today, for example, I was driving back into San Diego from a weekend away, and I was feeling impatient because most of the traffic was going a lot slower than I wanted it to, and I was worried about getting to work on time. As I was feeling that impatience, a voice in my head said, "This car in front of you is a guardian angel keeping you safe. Relax and slow down. All is well.". Not too long after that, traffic on the freeway suddenly stopped. When I passed the scene of the trouble that had slowed the traffic I saw a very nasty accident with many cars involved and people on stretchers by the side of the road. I clearly understood that if I hadn’t been held up by this one particular car on my drive down, that one of those people on the stretcher could easily have been me. I notice that the more I do my daily practice, the more that Spirit guides me in that way, and puts those quiet thoughts in my head.

When we come to relationship and begin to build trust, it’s important to bring in this same connection to Spirit, to really listen to what feels right to you. In the past I always started relationships with sexual attraction and connection, connecting at the second chakra, rather than getting to know the person first to see if I felt safe with them. I would notice behavior that didn’t feel safe to me, and just keep on having a relationship. For example, in the past my pattern was to choose men who were unavailable to me emotionally, either due to drug or alcohol use, or to some other form of emotional wound. I was like a hunter-seeker missile, I could identify these targets at a distance, and I would zoom in to make that old familiar connection. Then I would wonder why I kept having the same disappointing experience over and over again. As I healed from this pattern, it became really clear that I needed to retune my tracking system so that it would no longer target those men, but at first it was hard to be sure that the reprogramming had worked. So I faked it a little by taking more time to know my potential partners before getting sexual with them.

I learned instead to look at the behavior my partners were showing. Did they respect my boundaries and stay in integrity with me? I remember the first time I was ever in a relationship where a man respected my boundaries, because another pattern of mine was to choose men who would push at me until I caved in and did what they wanted, whether it was having sex with them or going to some event I didn’t want to attend, or doing some household chore that I didn’t like. In one relationship I was in, my partner repeatedly interrupted my meditation time even though the door was closed and I had specifically asked him not to interrupt me. So when I had a new experience of saying no to a man that I’d been in relationship with for a while, and hearing him say "ok" without any real upset about it, I was shocked. I hadn’t really known such a thing was possible. Later I learned that not only was it possible, it was healthy.

Once I am feeling a big yes to a potential partner’s behavior, and seeing that I also am able to stay in healthy behavior with them, I start to feel trust. For me that trust has to evolve over time, like the unfolding of a rosebud into a full and glorious scented flower. Once you arrive at that place of trust, and the foundation is built, you can move forward to explore the question of your feelings for each other, and the possibility that those can grow into unconditional love.

Kypris, Dakini and Shamanic Tantra Teacher holds a master’s degree in Biology, as well as a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, and is an initiated HeartWisdom Tantric Priestess. She is the author of “Journey to Sexual Wholeness, The Six Gateways to Tantric Sexuality”.

Yabyummy, is a love and intimacy school devoted to sharing with you our straightforward steps for bringing more peace, love and passion into your life and the lives of those around you.

What is True Love?

Kypris — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:30:46 +0000

In my journey along the tantric path, I have spent a lot of time exploring love–what it is and what it isn’t. In my own life I have found that the most important thing about true love, is that it covers all the bases–it is a love that contains all the aspects of romantic relationship that I need to have a whole and complete partnership with another person.

In thinking about how to share this knowledge, I realized that I could easily describe a full and satisfying relationship using the spiritual language of the four elements. If I have the highest expression of each element in my romantic relationships, then I have true love. This idea is backed up by psychologist Richard Sternberg, who proposed that love is the result of three components — intimacy, passion and commitment. He said that the love is strongest when all three of these components are strong. He calls this "consummate love". So whether you call it true love or consummate love, there is this idea that you must weave together several components to find a happy and joyful divine union.

In shamanic practice the four elements are seen as the basic building blocks of the spiritual universe. Because they are the building blocks, we look at how they are balanced against each other both within ourselves and in relationship. They don’t have to be perfectly balanced in equal amounts. Every individual is different, as is every relationship. I may have only a pinch of air in my individual makeup, but a boatload of it in my true love relationship.

So to begin on the quest of finding true love, I embarked on a love affair with myself. The first thing I discovered was that I could break down that love affair into four parts corresponding to the elements:

Physical Body Care: Exercise, Nutrition, Rest, Appearance (Earth element).

Emotional Body Care: Gratitude, Journaling (Water element)

Mind Care: Learning New Things, Meditation (thought mastery), Play (Air element)

Creative/Sexual Energy Outlets: Creative pursuits, Self-Pleasure Practice (Fire element)

These create a Pyramid of self-love for me. Earth is my foundation, without it, I can’t do anything else. If my body isn’t functioning well, or if I’m sleep-deprived, then I am not going to be able to think or create, let alone be stable emotionally. Water is the next layer on top of that, I have to do the constant practice of keeping myself in a positive emotional state by releasing sadness, fear, and anger through journaling, and drawing in love, joy, and pleasure through gratitude practice. Once these parts of myself are nurtured, then my mind can be both sharp and calm at the same time. And with all right within me, I start to feel like creating and moving my sexual energy through my body.

Romantically speaking, the elements play a role in how I am relating to my partner. From my years of experience in learning about relationships, I see four main components that must be present to create a "true love" partnership:

Trust—When I have the experience of seeing a romantic partner do what they say they will do, then I begin to feel safe, and that perhaps there is a possibility of commitment. That commitment evolves into agreements and trust over time as the agreements are kept. This is the element of Earth in relationship and the foundation of true love.

Unconditional Love–When I am able to accept my partner completely as they are, I know that I am experiencing a part of true love. For me, unconditional love starts as a strong emotional connection, vulnerability and sharing about our lives. This evolves into understanding, empathy, and acceptance, then transforms into unconditional love over time. This is the element of Water in relationship, and the second step on the pyramid of true love.

Ease–When I have ease and flow with my partner, I know that I have a very important part of true love. Ease begins with shared interests, the ability to play together, and communication that is clear and compassionate. Over time this evolves into an ability to have life together unfold with effortlessness. This is the element of Air in relationship, and the third step on the pyramid of true love.

Passion–This is the part of true love that we all seem to seek in the end. For me, it’s my ultimate goal, but I have to have the foundation of Trust, Unconditional Love, and Ease for the passion to last and feel satisfying and healthy. Passion can be confusing, because it may be present in an unhealthy relationship without the other components of true love. Usually this type of relationship collapses after a fairly short time. Passion begins as sexual attraction, and can evolve into shared creations, creating a business, a child, or a home together. This is the Element of Fire in relationship, and the pinnacle of the pyramid of true love.

When all four of these things are present in relationship, Spirit weaves them together to create true love. This is the love that poets write about, and that we see in couples walking hand in hand in the park after 30 years of happy marriage. This is a divine experience, you let Spirit take over and you surrender.

Next month we’ll talk in more detail about the foundation of the pyramid of true love: Trust.

Kypris, Dakini and Shamanic Tantra Teacher holds a master’s degree in Biology, as well as a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, and is an initiated HeartWisdom Tantric Priestess. She is the author of “Journey to Sexual Wholeness, The Six Gateways to Tantric Sexuality”.

Yabyummy is a teaching temple that provides a tantric path to gain sexual wholeness through breathwork, visualization, and tantric massage. We are committed to unifying sexuality with spirituality and spirituality with sexuality for growth minded men, women and couples.

Inviting Love In

Kypris — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:42:36 +0000

How many of you have heard that to attract the love that you want in your life, you have to love yourself first?

There is a pretty big consensus among coaches, therapists, and spiritual teachers that when you are looking for love, the best place to search is within you.

There are two components to really telling the universe you are ready for love. The truth about attracting anything into your life is that you have to feel good about it, not scared, and not feeling a huge lack and neediness. Also, you must be open. So the two things you need for opening to love are:

1. Removing Armor

Do you feel wounded by an old relationship?
If you are really honest with yourself, are you still angry, hurt, or upset about that?

There is a thing that can happen for us women, (and for men too!) where we start to hold on to past hurts and view all new relationships through a looking glass clouded up by those old hurts and stories. While we are holding on to the story that we are a victim, we cannot grow or be open to love. True love requires that we be able to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY. If we are still afraid of being hurt again, it is extremely hard to give unconditional love to anyone, including ourselves. What most of us also do is that we put ARMOR on our hearts to protect us from getting hurt again. Once that armor is on, we feel nice and cozy and safe, but we are cut off from our ability to feel deeply or to truly connect with anyone.

Years ago, I had many layers of armor around my heart, from years of living with a man who didn’t treat me well, and a childhood of emotional neglect and criticism. Needless to say, I didn’t feel safe in the world, and I especially didn’t feel safe with men. I had done years of therapy and self examination and spiritual practice, but I was still carrying a lot of armor, and I didn’t even know it. Eventually, Spirit led me to a 4-day workshop focused on opening and connecting with others and learning to live in pure unconditional love. About two days into that workshop I started to feel that armor on my heart, and I wanted it GONE. Two of my shaman friends who were at the seminar came in and assisted me, laying me down on the floor and working in shamanic reality to remove the armor. One used a ceremonial knife (gulp) to symbolically cut away the armor from my chest. I literally felt the ripping sensation and the sudden nakedness of not having the armor once it was pulled away. I kept breathing while they held me safe. My other friend worked to help me open and trust now that the armor was released. After that I felt freer and lighter, and suddenly I could hug people and not feel like there was always an invisible wall between us. I hadn’t even been aware of that wall before, but now that it was gone, it felt so GOOD. For the first time, I was able to truly receive love from another, and it made me a bit giddy.

2. Receptivity and Vulnerability

It can be hard to become truly open to sharing your heart with another, to be willing to receive the love they want to give you and to share your true feelings. Once if we have healed old wounds and removed our armor, we can feel like a peeled grape. And you might be wondering how you can keep yourself safe without the armor. It is important that women learn how to create a feeling of safety with men, and that men learn how to support that feeling of safety for women. Obviously this is a big topic. I can start by telling you what being receptive feels like.

For me, being receptive means that I am open to connecting with men. This means that I smile at men when I am out in public and say hello. It means that when my partner wants to give time or attention to me, I say "yes" as often as I can. It means that my heart and body are open to receive energy, attention, and gifts of time and even presents, from men. For men, receptivity in a woman feels like a big relief, to finally have someone willing to receive what they have been aching to share. And when the two meet, there is expansion of the heart, and True Love can begin to grow.

In our True Love 101 class we’ll have more time to share with you about these concepts, as well as the 5 components of true love and spiritual practices that can help create true love in your life. Click here for our schedule of classes…

Kypris, Dakini and Shamanic Tantra Teacher holds a master’s degree in Biology, as well as a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, and is an initiated HeartWisdom Tantric Priestess. She is the author of “Journey to Sexual Wholeness, The Six Gateways to Tantric Sexuality”.

Yabyummy is a teaching temple that provides a tantric path to gain sexual wholeness through breathwork, visualization, and tantric massage. We are committed to unifying sexuality with spirituality and spirituality with sexuality for growth minded men, women and couples.

Under the Peruvian Sun

Kypris — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:17:00 +0000

I am riding on the back of Inti, a sturdy brown and white mountain pony, across beautiful tan grass plains amongst tall sharp mountain peaks. He is showing me the wonders of the land, and a few other things.

Later that night in the hostel, I am reading my novel to relax and suddenly what I am reading makes me tingle all over: a vampire tells of his human life when his mother was a priestess of INTI, the Sun God, in Cuzco, at the time of the Spanish conquest and invasion. Now in the novel, he acts as the avatar of the Sun for the woman he loves, making love with her to transmit and open her to her full power.

This gets my attention. I am in Cuzco on vacation preparing to make love to the Sun God through a medicine journey in three days. Not only was my horse named INTI today, but there is the little fact that I recently took vows to open myself to a human partner who will channel the Sun God for me.

When the day for the San Pedro journey arrives, I am a little nervous, but also excited. I ready myself for a sacred medicine journey with San Pedro cactus (known to Peruvians as Huachama). The plant is said to assist in traveling to the upper world of the shaman, the place of the soul’s knowledge, and to heal emotional wounds swiftly and surely.

I am in a magickal garden with San Pedro cactus, flowers, and trees growing, sitting with my group of friends on this trip, drinking the cactus down. It is a little bit scary. The cactus drink is thick and syrupy, like Aloe Vera Gel. And it doesn’t taste good. It’s slimy. And brown. Lesley, our guide for the day, tells us to hold our nose and drink it down in one gulp. And to remember that as we take the cactus in, we are taking light into our bodies. That does it for me. I imagine my body absorbing light into every cell as I drink the cactus, and imagine it is filling me with radiance. I crunch a lemon candy after to take away the aftertaste and it is done! I wait for the cactus to take effect, and wonder what will happen.

San Pedro does contain mescaline, but it’s not much of a hallucinogen, at least not for me. I remain aware of everything all day long, but I also become painfully aware of my body’s energy–where it is open, where it is blocked, where it needs some cleanup. A freight train of sunlight starts to run through me, and I get scared. This is like tantra on steroids! Lesley tells me to breathe into each chakra as it opens, that the cactus is clearing them out, getting rid of the sludge, performing powerful healing.

I breathe and explode into tears. As my heart opens waves and waves of sadness come through me. I let go, totally and completely, of EVERYTHING that I’ve been holding. Mother Earth takes it, every bit of it, and it takes hours, I think. She releases me, tells me to walk in the garden, to smell the flowers, to see the beauty. I feel another pull, to the "Ayhahuasca house", the house of death and rebirth where the Ayhahuasca shamans come to do there work on other days. As I enter a painting of Huascar, the Peruvian Lord of Life and Death, greets me. Oh my God, he is SO beautiful, I want to go into his darkness, to be with him forever. He holds me and I find even more tears, release even more. And I start to wonder if it will ever end! I have asked for this journey to show me how to heal my relationships to human men. To show me how to open my heart even more. Apparently it means dumping gallons of tears!

I am happy, I am with Huascar in the underworld, and this is where I long to stay…with death. And I realize that I am not afraid of the dark at all. I am afraid of the light. I want to stay in the dark, where I feel safe. And he shoves me, tells me to go. He tells me I am in a body to live this life, not to stay in the dark with him.

So I go, grumbling all the way. I go out the gate from the garden and into the Sun on the brown grasses of the rolling hills. Down in the valley the grass is green and water runs. Sheep and Llamas graze on the land. And the grass seems to sparkle. The hills seem to be made of sunlight. It is all so beautiful it is hard to take in. How can I deserve this much beauty?

Spirit sends me a man to practice heart connecting with, a man from these lands, whose ancestors were here before the Inca. And as we wander, our connection deepens, and we move energy between our hearts and our bodies, I practice being with a man with no boundaries and no expectations between us except those I want in the moment.

He calls me a princess, he tells me he loves me, he tells me I am beautiful. The sun shines down on us and through his braids and the feather in his hair. He respects my no and keeps on loving me. He keeps me safe as we wander the hills. And I thank the Sun and the San Pedro for sending him to me to heal my heart with, to practice loving him. To practice being loved by an avatar of the sun.

Back at home, my heart is filled with that sun, and the light is pouring forth from me, with everyone I see and everywhere I go. I feel an excitement, like a kid on Christmas morning, that a new life partner is coming for me, who will dance in this light with me. There is no longing for him, no sadness, just a knowing and an eagerness for when I meet him.

Today I feel the sun on my face and I know that something has shifted in me, that I am different. That the Peruvian sun has changed me forever. And I will return. At night, I still dream of Peru, of a land that has changed me forever. I fly over the landscape like an eagle, I wander the beautiful golden hills touched with sparkling sunlight. I am surrounded by a beauty so immense that my heart must open.

Kypris, Dakini and Shamanic Tantra Teacher holds a master’s degree in Biology, as well as a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, and is an initiated HeartWisdom Tantric Priestess. She is the author of “Journey to Sexual Wholeness, The Six Gateways to Tantric Sexuality”.

A Day In The Life Of A Tantric Shaman

Kypris — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:05:54 +0000

(yesterday)

I wake up from a fitful night’s sleep, glad that it is time to get up and begin my day. While still half-awake, I feel into my dreams to see if there is anything important there, but the dreamscape is silent. Over the past few nights I’ve been working a lot in my dreams, getting downloads of unconditional love, so I suppose it’s okay to have a dreamless night! Still, I feel a little disappointment that I have nothing to mull over.

Some mornings I slip right into meditation in my cozy bed, but this morning I remember that my guides have been telling me to meditate outdoors, to get more deeply in touch with nature. I go out to the pomegranate tree and arrange myself on the yoga mat with my blanket and drop in. It feels good to hear the birds singing, and I listen to the hummingbirds chasing each other and drinking their morning nectar for a moment before I start my hour of solo practice. I begin with the breath of fire, waking myself up, and feeding my inner fire with short sharp breaths. As I do the practice, I wake up, and start to feel life force flowing into my body, opening up the same channels that sexual energy flows through. I start to feel warm, and I remove the blanket. As I continue to breath, a smile starts to come to my face, and a happiness fills my belly. Ahhhhh. I feel a deep inner stillness at he center of my belly, surrounded by a gentle warming flame. I feel GOOD.

After the breath of fire, I work with my chakras, breathing into each one and clearing it out. AHHH, this feels good too, like taking my morning shower. my physical and emotional body starts to feel clear and clean and open. I give thanks then, gratitude for everything the day before that gave me joy. And I spend a few more minutes sitting in stillness, listening for what Spirit wants to tell me today. I check in also to see what I need to know for my clients today. What will they need? Usually I get a little taste in my body of one thing that they need most, a guidepost for their healing session.

Now it is time for the day to unfold. I dress and shower, and make my way to the temple. Once there, I prepare the space. This is one of my favorite parts of the day, making the space beautiful, burning incense and sage, lighting candles, playing soft music. I am ready to begin.

My first client arrives and we work on some challenges that are unfolding in her relationships. She wants to learn to center more into herself, to find her power as a woman, and to connect with her own sexual self. I spend an hour listening deeply to her, channeling information from my guides, and teaching her practice. Today we work with movement, because she is ready to RELEASE! We dance and breathe and learn to do a deep clearing of each chakra center with the breath and movement. She lets herself move her body and releases deep sounds of anger that she didn’t even know were store inside of her. Afterward she feels energized and relieved. I send her home with some music to use in her daily practice.

Now it is time for me to attend to business, and I ground myself in the everyday as I answer email, take phone calls, edit the website, and many other mundane tasks. It helps to balance me to spend this time, and rather than feeling resentful about it, I am grateful for the variety in my day.

I take a nice long break at lunch time to care for my body, because for me a large part of the practice of tantra is to care for myself. Today I go to yoga class and eat nourishing food to replenish myself for the afternoon and evening.

Now the day shifts and becomes more intense. I have a RED session today—deep and powerful hands-on work. I will be using my sexual/life force energy (and that of my client) to open, to heal old shame and guilt, to allow more freedom and ecstasy in sexual connection, This work often follows for my clients after an intensive study of breath and meditation and movement practice.

I take an hour to prepare the room, lighting candles and incense. I put sheets on the bed, and call in my animal guide allies to hold the space. As I call in Black Jaguar I hear and feel a loud purrrrrr, and I know that this will be a yummy and powerful session, that there will be deep pleasure and an opening.

Once my client arrives we spend 3 hours experimenting with tantric touch. I begin by listening to him share about how the work has been integrating since our last session, a lingam massage. He is excited about learning to move sexual energy through his whole body and starting to have whole body orgasms in his self pleasure practice. Anchored in himself, he’s eager today to learn more about sharing this larger sexual/heart/spirit energy with a woman.

We begin with meditation, imagining ourselves to be trees, rooted in the Earth and branched into the stars and the sun. Once we are feeling strong and loved by the Divine, we begin intentionally connecting, flowing our roots together and interweaving our branches as trees do in the forest. We see vines growing from our hearts, connecting and entwining us with love that begins to flow back and forth. As we disrobe, we flow into touch and breath and how to work those together, stay present, and bring diversity to the ways we connect and touch. I show him how to create safety with Earth touch, and I drop into feeling him give that to me. He feels the joy of having a woman totally receive him as a man. We move to water, total loving touch, then fire, deep sexual passion, and come up into air, tingling and vibrating from all this blissful energy. We keep experimenting as he finds his way into a giving that is as blissful as receiving. Time seems to dissolve as we both push the envelope of the bliss barrier, seeking the place where we can allow ourselves to be bigger, and finding the obstacles that keep us from receiving pleasure. We feel pleasure deeply in our bodies, and still I hear the voice of Spirit speaking gently and quietly in me, helping me to track his energy and his needs in the moment, helping me to be his guide on this blissful ecstatic journey. My guidance allows me to hold space for him and to give him all the unconditional love in my heart. In the light of that unconditional love, he melts, and his heart opens to a blazing fire, aligned with his body, his lingam, and his Spirit. He tells me that he feels like an eagle, soaring above the earth and seeing all his life and all his relationships in perspective for the first time.

We come back to earth at the end with berries, chocolate, cheese, and crackers, and bask in what feels like the afterglow of sex, even though we haven’t actually made love. I feel into how big my energy body feels, and look to see how much his face and eyes have changed from when he came in. He tells me how profoundly the session has changed his perception, and promises to check in a week from now by phone to share how it is integrating into his life.

I say goodbye to my client and turn my mind once again to self care. I have learned that this work requires a lot of that! I shower to ground myself, I sage to bless the space and the work. I go out and walk, I eat. I give thanks for the beauty and healing power of this work and notice how connected I feel to the trees and the birds in the park. Life is good and my heart is full of love and bliss.

Namaste,

Kypris

Divine Desert Union

Kypris — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 00:05:21 +0000

I am in the desert, about to enter into a day of divine union practice with my partner. About to dive into the ultimate sacred sexual ceremony. About to enter deeply into ecstatic sexual communion with my beloved. About to become the Goddess, opening to oneness with God through my lover and the ecstasy and power and love we would create.

The weather is windy and sunny and warm, and I feel relieved to be back in my most sacred space. The desert is the place I feel most at home. I am more comfortable and alive in the desert than in my own room in the city in my own bed. The quiet is like a song that nature sings, that I must come fully present to hear. I love the peacefulness, the absence of people, the way I can hear the wings of the ravens beating when they fly overhead. I love the way I can see for miles across the dry lake bed. I love the morteros and petroglyphs nearby and the knowing that I am on ground that has been inhabited and held sacred for centuries. I love the game of gazing at the clouds and rocks and seeing patterns in their shapes. I love the heat, the way the sun shines on me relentlessly most days, warming me until I unfold like a flower. At night the stars sing to me, beckon me, and I gaze at them sometimes until I can no longer hold my eyes open, drifting off watching meteors streak the sky. I feel relaxed, loved, held, open.

The desert seems to welcome me, and I remember all the magickal things that have happened here. I remember the time a coyote gave me a freshly killed red-tailed hawk. I remember the time Spirit yanked me out of bed one morning and marched me across the lakebed into rocky hills, leading me to a perfectly preserved deer skull with antlers. The desert is my drug of choice. I feel relaxed, peaceful, powerful, magickal here.

Today I begin my day with meditation in the van I slept in, keeping out the cold and winds of the night before. There is a sacred circle of rocks placed all around our campsite, and I feel the presence of the guardians at each direction, Serpent, Jaguar, Hummingbird, Eagle/Condor. I feel the circle around me, creating a container of safety and peace within the desert, creating a space for the ceremony I am about to dive into with my lover. Over the many years I have been coming to this valley in the desert, my sacred circle has always been empty and waiting for me, like an expectant lover. Every time I arrive, I am so grateful to fall into this space, so glad that is here and open for me.

But despite all this, today I’m not feeling very Goddess-like. I’m scared.

It’s a fear that’s in my bones. Not simple nervousness. It’s a fear that maybe too much will be revealed. Maybe this time is the time I will be split open by God and fall into madness, unable to confront myself. I feel puzzled because I’ve been planning this day for two months. But I’m afraid of opening to my lover, afraid of being vulnerable for an entire 8 hours. I reach inside and hold this part of me that’s feeling scared as a mother would hold a child. I comfort myself and ask what is wrong. Slowly my inner self tells me that I am afraid because I am still holding on to the past, to old hurts I’ve felt with my lover. Even though those things have been discussed, processed, and duly released months before, I still have some releasing to do. I’m still hanging on to being a victim. And I’m scared that there is more hurt to come, scared of opening and then feeling the pain of loss and abandonment again that I felt in the past.

I tell my lover how I am feeling and he agrees to hold space for me, to begin our ritual with talking about my fears and sadness. In that space he shares with me that he too feels frightened, but about other things. My heart starts to melt, I see the vulnerable child in him, and I feel so compassionate for who and what he is. The magick has already begun. I feel Spirit come in, helping, supporting, and I start to surrender to all of it, the ceremony, the feelings, the plan that Spirit has for this sacred time. My lover brushes my hair. I am lying on a soft mattress with the desert sun shining into the van and the breeze blowing over my naked skin. How thirsty my skin has been for that breeze! How hungry my scalp has been for the tingling of the brush, wielded by someone else. I sink into the pampering of it, letting myself open more, relax more, soften more. I fall into love with my lover again, and I feel again all the love that I felt for him when we first met, only it’s bigger, richer, intermingled with all kinds of flavors and spices that our lives together have created between us. Before I know it, he is between my legs, pleasuring me, and I flow into pleasure, my yoni opening, my juices flowing, my sexual arousal becoming a slow and gentle fire inside me. I worship his lingam when I have had enough pleasure, feeling the taste and aliveness of him, the smell of him, in all of my being. I open even more, wanting to take him in, to receive not only his semen but his essence, his soul, into me.

And then I am climbing up his body, he is sitting up to meet me, and we are in yabyum, me sitting in his lap. Now I start to feel the fear again, as we get more intimate, as I become more aroused, as I try to open. I feel both joy and fear at once. I try to relax into the joy, to let go of my inhibitions, telling myself it will all be okay. And for a time it is. He enters me and we rock together, barely moving, and I feel him pulse inside me whenever I squeeze my yoni. I open and allow him to go deeper. I let go and ejaculate, several times. I am trusting as much as I can. surrendering as much as possible. I feel good, and wonder if my fears will stay dissolved or if they will return as we go deeper. We pause and my lover feeds me, placing strawberries and chocolates on my lips, I do the same, feeding him, grateful to him for the opening and ecstasy I already feel.

We come together again, and now he is more passionate, asking me to breathe with him, and we are connecting even more deeply, connecting not only my yoni and his lingam, but then our bellies, then our stomachs, then our chests, pressing against each other and breathing. I am struggling to stay with him, to be present. My mind wanders, I am afraid! I try to fall asleep while we are making love, I yawn, I feel bored. I have hit a wall. I can’t go deeper, I can’t breathe with him, I don’t want to do this anymore! I am afraid! Gently, he holds me, breathes, waits for me to return from wherever it is I keep disappearing to. I start to watch myself vanish. I am amazed. I thought my lover was the one who was running away, emotionally, but all this time it’s been me. I see that as we continue, I feel Spirit holding me and comforting me. Right now all of me is a little child, and I need comfort.

We rest and shift, moving into more traditional lovemaking, drawing back a little from this depth that is too much for me. And slowly I watch myself come back to life. My lover makes love to me with determination now, dropping with me into a place that is purely sensual, feeling just the delight of our bodies. He makes love to me with tenderness, and I see tears in his eyes, and feel them in my own. I feel so much love for him. And then we are diving into passion again, intensity, and this time it is a forest fire. It feels like all the desert has rushed into me and into our union, and we have become like two powerful gods, mixing the elements that created the world with our lovemaking. We climax together, sending our sexual energy out and up for our healing and to feed the desert and the Gods.

And then I feel gentleness, a soft gentle place as the passion wave withdraws, and I am spent. I am satiated, I am complete, I am done. I feel my lover’s arms around me and for a while I drift off to sleep. When I wake, I feel pulled to get up and out of the van, to stand under the open sky. It is colder now, and I bundle up in layers of fleece and wool and faux fur. I sit and look at the sky, as the sun slowly begins to set.

And then the miracle happens. As I look up, I see a huge cloud turned orange and pink by the setting sun. The cloud is perfectly shaped like an Eagle, like the thunderbird of legend. I feel blessed and awed by this gift of spirit, what feels truly like a sign, an acknowledgment of our ritual, of the energy that we sent out to the world. I begin to cry and feel excited like a little girl at the circus. All at once. And I know that this union is not only with my lover, but with the desert below me, and the sky above me. I am one with everything. For days afterward I feel the peace, passion and joy of this place and this new miracle.

Namaste,

Kypris

Kiss and Tell

Kypris — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:42:27 +0000

When I was four years old, my kindergarten teacher caught me kissing one of my classmates behind the bushes on our playground.

She was obviously scandalized by my behavior, and I remembering wondering why. It seemed a natural exploration, given that I saw adults kissing each other all the time. I longed to learn what they knew. I wanted to dissect the mystery of the kiss.

My first real kisses were intensely arousing, and I still remember feeling all the nerves in my lips and tongue come alive, as my yoni burst into an intense wetness and desire for its own touch. I remember the fire of arousal burning hotter and hotter in me as we kissed, and wishing for more, but not being sure what "more" would be. I remember the sweet ache those kisses created in me for days afterward, and wanting more of that feeling of a tongue sliding sweetly over my lips, teeth, and tongue. With later kisses, I remember the jolt of having my budding breasts and nipples touched for the first time, and how the pleasure of that touch seemed to radiate through my whole body, like a miniature sun of pleasure. I remember the feeling of deep connection, a desire to merge, that those kisses created for me. Years later, I felt no surprise when the movies "Pretty Woman" and "French Kiss" both described a kiss as special, so special that it cost extra to kiss a "lady of the night" if she would allow it at all.

Kissing is where the deepest opening lies to my heart. Maybe it’s just a girl thing, but kissing opens me, and plugs me in to all the love I have for the universe and for the man I am kissing. When I open like that, I make love from the deepest place in my soul, and touch and lovemaking become 10 times more powerful.

As a teacher, I have learned to apply the principles of shamanic tantra to kissing and to touch. Joyfully, I practice breathing (which can be tough while kissing!), being in the moment, and connecting to Spirit while I kiss. Doing all this turns kissing and touching into a soulful and playful healing that helps the kundalini rise and burn through my old ways of being in relationship. In this place I can find the freedom to express my touch or kiss as passionate, playful, deeply emotional, or sensual, depending on my mood. Then I have total freedom, no longer confined to only one way of being and connecting with another. Ultimately my practice creates deeper and more profound connection, a more open heart, and a passionate soul.

I would love to hear from YOU about your first kiss, and how it made you feel. What is it about that first kiss that you would like to create in your life today? Share your story by leaving us a note in the Leave a Reply box at the bottom of this page.

Namaste,

Kypris

Moving with Spirit

Kypris — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:42:57 +0000

Yesterday I danced for a small cancer fundraiser, and found myself worrying for a week beforehand about whether or not my performance would be "good enough". Normally I dance 5 days a week, and walk the other two. But over the last month I’ve not been moving enough. And now, going into a dance performance, I was worried. "What if I can’t connect to Spirit?" "What if I look foolish?" "What if nobody likes my dancing?". Well, one thing I know for sure is that "What if" thoughts come from my ego and from living in fear of the future! When I find myself thinking these thoughts about my dance, it is time for me to stop, take a breath, and remember why I dance.

Why do I dance? To feel alive, to feel sexual, to connect to my innermost feelings and express them, to connect to others in a juicy and powerful space, to feel more like me, to shake off all the emotional baggage I don’t need, to discover facets of me that I didn’t know were there. Dancing 5 days a week, when I do the practice, not only keeps me in great physical condition, but improves my mental and emotional health, and my authentic connection to the moment and to other people. Through dance I find, over and over, the path to an ecstatic connection to my body, to Spirit, and to other people.

So as I arrived at my show yesterday, I remembered all these reasons why I dance, and I realized that performing is no different, only I am sharing all of this with an audience. I opened my heart to all the people in the room as I flowed into moving with the music. Dropping in once again to that powerful ecstasy, I was transformed, I became the Goddess, and I was one with Spirit. And afterward, someone in the audience shared the gift of these words with me: Love like your heart’s never been broken, Work like you don’t need money, and Dance like nobody’s watching.

Namaste,

Kypris