Yabyummy » Yab Blog http://www.yabyummy.com Yabyummy, unifying sexuality with spirituality and spirituality with sexuality Sun, 04 Mar 2012 01:30:43 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc Entering the First Gateway: Spirit http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/entering-the-first-gateway-spirit.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/entering-the-first-gateway-spirit.htm#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 05:02:43 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/entering-the-first-gateway-spirit.htm The Six Gateways are like a labyrinth. I travel them over and over, spiraling in to my center, finding Spirit, Love, and Power–then spiraling out to the world and becoming Freedom, Balance, and Union with all creation.

Reaching the center of the gateways is becoming completely naked and vulnerable. Coming back out is creation. When I walk the Labyrinth on the first Friday of each month, I focus on one gateway, taking it into the Labyrinth with me to learn more. From this practice I am growing. I feel happier each day, and magical things happen almost as a daily occurrence.

For instance, yesterday I felt a Goddess come alive within my body.

Within me I felt a deep, rich, red, velvety power come alive–one that began in my eyes and radiated down, down down—to my belly, my yoni, and my toes. When I looked in the mirror I saw that power radiating out from my eyes and face. When my beloved made love to me last night I felt a new awakening, heart opening, spine tingling, in my whole body.

I am becoming something new.

I have always felt this great unknowable force of LOVE behind the universe. I used to call it GOD when I was little. Now that I am older, and a practicing Shaman, I call it SPIRIT. But they really aren’t that different.

On my spiritual path, Spirit makes itself known to me in a more manageable form through Gods, Goddesses, Angels, Guides, Animal Totems, and Nature Spirits. I feel Spirit in everything. It is alive in a story, an idea, a rock, or the ocean. For me, all of these things are living beings with voices to be heard and guidance to be shared.

Isis is what I call the Goddess I connected with a few days ago. She is new to me, and I am enjoying getting to know her as I would get to know a new friend. Instead of getting to know her better through having tea, going to lunch, or hanging out together, I am getting to know her through deep meditation and prayer.

One of the gifts I’ve been given in this life is a powerful connection to Spirit. This force talks to me, guides me, and protects me. Like a difficult teenager, I don’t always listen or follow the advice. Fortunately Spirit is incredibly patient with me, and continues to give me second, third, and fourth chances.

I feel that Isis has come to work with me because I am finally ready to listen. I am ready to embrace my own power of magick–my own ability to create whatever I want in this life.

You see, I’ve always thought that the key to creating what I want was pure force of will. But I’ve learned through life experience that it works a lot better when I listen to the guidance of Spirit–who right now happens to look like Isis.

Isis was a great Queen to the Egyptian people. She was honored and loved because she was said to have loved her husband Osiris so much that she searched through muddy swamps to reassemble his body after his own Brother, Set, killed him and cut his body into 14 pieces and scattered them throughout the waters. Once she had put him back together, she discovered that his lingam was missing (uh-oh!). So she worked a great magick to make him completely whole, after which they made love for 5 days straight to celebrate their reunion. (WOW!)

Isis makes whole what once was lost and broken apart.

Throughout the years I have been blessed with so much healing, and with the gift to help others heal and become whole. But recently I’ve become aware of another piece of myself that needs deep healing. This one is darker and more scary than all the others that have gone before. I am not ready to talk about it here–yet. But I am determined to face it, to heal it, to move inexorably forward toward being a whole and complete human being.

To heal, I have been diving into the void in my meditations, and from this place, suddenly I was connected with Isis. I realize she has been calling me for a long time. You see, there is this knitting project.

For several years I have been wanting to knit this pattern from a book called “The Knitting Goddess”. It is a simple pattern, a big rectangle really, that is worn as a shawl. What makes it special is that the patterns is called “The Wings of Isis” and it is made of red yarn intermingled with bright bits of other yarns in turqoise, black, and gold. At first for a few years I wanted to make the shawl but didn’t know how to knit. Then I learned how to knit but didn’t have the skill yet to create this pattern.

Desire to knit this shawl is is symbolic of my whole life, where i have been working for many years to learn about healthy love and relationship so that I could manifest a beloved, mend my relationships with my family, find my right livelihood, and create more abundance. Now some of these dreams have come true, and the path to the others is becoming more clear. For the first time I know how to get there–or at least partway there.

As these changes are happening in my life, I have begun to knit the Isis shawl at last, and Isis herself has come to live in my body. The feeling is magnificent, and the shawl is becoming the embodiment of that energy of a rich and manycolored life that somehow weaves together to create a beautiful whole filled with Love. I have been keeping the shawl on my altar, knitting there as a meditation, charging it with love and power and magick. I feel the red of its thread pulling abundance into my life. I am manifesting things that I never thought I could have. And I feel so blessed. I have fallen even more deeply into the first gateway of Spirit.

References:

Journey to Sexual Wholeness: http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Sexual-Wholeness-Sexuality-ebook/dp/B006T9CRKM/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1327457792&sr=1-2
 
The Knitting Goddess: http://www.amazon.com/Knitting-Goddess-Finding-Instruction-Projects/dp/0786885300/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1327458242&sr=1-1-catcorr
 
Dreams of Isis: http://www.amazon.com/Dreams-Isis-Womans-Spiritual-Sojourn/dp/0835607127/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327458565&sr=8-1

]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/entering-the-first-gateway-spirit.htm/feed 0 Practicing Tantra in All of Life http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/practicing-tantra-in-all-of-life.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/practicing-tantra-in-all-of-life.htm#comments Fri, 18 Nov 2011 01:19:15 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/practicing-tantra-in-all-of-life.htm
What does that mean? Most spiritual traditions on this planet have focused on divorcing the Spirit from the body, on trying to get back to God as fast as they can by denying the body, and by judging Spirit as being more sacred or holy than Matter. Christianity, for example, used fasting and abstinence to leave the body behind and transcend to God. Sexuality and pleasure were looked upon as obstacles to holiness.

Tantra is different.

In tantra we see sexuality as a direct path to God. The sexual practices of red tantra open up the body to an experience of bliss that is as powerful as any drug. But there is more to tantra than blissing out and having a lot of really great sex. Practicing tantra brings up the big woundings for healing. These wounds may come from trauma, neglect, rape, sexual abuse, or shaming. Through several years of deep practice I healed many things in myself, including anxiety, depression, IBS, and a terrifying fear of abandonment. Many of my clients have healed past sexual trauma and abuse. This healing leads to an experience of life and relationships that is very different. I experience as much or more pleasure in my relationships as I do pain. And when I feel pain its intensity is often greatly reduced. I also enjoy extremely good health with very little pain in my body. In addition to all these blessings, tantra has taught me how to be fully alive, vital and joyful in my skin. I walk around smiling and feeling my connection to everyone and to all of nature most of the time. And I’ve learned that this joy comes from letting the sexual energy move through my whole body. Most people call this energy sex when it’s in the pelvis, love when it’s in their heart, and spirituality when it’s in the head.

It’s all the same energy.

So for me sexual energy is no different, better, or worse, than any other kind of energy. But the implications are even bigger. If I practice tantra, and it’s all the same energy, then tantra can be applied to every part of life. This means that I can apply the principles of tantra to parenting, my community, my romantic relationships, my business, my finances, my physical health and wellness, and even to my enlightenment path. This viewpoint has given birth to a life where I practice my spirituality in each moment and with each person in each situation. There is no separation for me between the tantric practice that I do with my beloved and the way that I speak to the teller at the bank.

Next month I am going to begin an ambitious project to bring this message to the world, and I need your help! On Friday December 2nd from 8-11 PM I will hold a Town Hall Meeting and Holiday Party here at the Yabyummy Temple in La Mesa, which is being reborn as the Six Gateways Center. The evening will be a time for you to celebrate the season, share your suggestions, meet other members of the community, and help create something that can anchor a new spirituality in all aspects of life.
]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/practicing-tantra-in-all-of-life.htm/feed 0 The Four Agreements in Four Days http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-four-agreements-in-four-days.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-four-agreements-in-four-days.htm#comments Wed, 06 Jul 2011 20:10:42 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-four-agreements-in-four-days.htm Rachel Moore on “The Four Agreements” for creatives, based on the book by Don Miguel Ruiz. As I prepared to teach the class, I realized that I wanted to really experience the essence of this book by spending a full day between now and then living each of the agreements.

The four agreements are:

  • Be Impeccable with your Word.
  • Don’t take Anything Personally.
  • Don’t make assumptions.
  • Always do your best.


Ruiz says that if we can just live the first agreement, then we needn’t worry about the other three. At the beginning of my first day, I didn’t think it would be that hard to be impeccable with my words. I didn’t think it would be that hard to focus on the positive, to refrain from gossip, and to voice my feelings in a way that would take responsibility for myself.

I was wrong. On this particular day, Spirit gave me a golden opportunity to practice impeccable speech in a tough situation. A friend came to me wounded by one of my ex-lovers, and wanted to know if she was crazy to be hurting. My urge to make her feel better by bashing my ex was so strong! I wanted help her wounds feel better by putting the soothing balm of commiseration on them. But bashing my ex in his absence wasn’t going to help anyone to grow spiritually or emotionally. If the two of us fell into blaming him for the way she was feeling, it would be a trap, and she would be stuck, not seeing how her own faults and weaknesses led to the experience. This is not to say that he was blameless. But only he can really know what part he played in the hurt that she experienced.

So I kept my attention on what was positive about him, and shared with my friend how I have come to see the situation: that nobody is wrong and nobody is right. That when feelings are hurt in relationship it is almost always due to a misunderstanding. That none of us are perfect. That life is a school. That we are all here to learn. And that yes, even powerful pain and suffering is a learning.

If I choose instead to blame others for the way I feel, to make them wrong, then I create a world of darkness and pain around me. And I start to attract that pain. The more I focus on it, the more I attract it. Why would I want to do that? And why would I want my friend to do that?

As Ruiz says: “Your word is pure magic, and misuse of your word is black magic”

After my challenge of day one, I thought I would do well with day two: “don’t take anything personally”. After all I had resisted a grand temptation on day one. But on day 2, Spirit upped the ante. I ran smack dab up against my fears when my beloved wasn’t available for our normally scheduled phone call. In fact, my shaman sense started to tell me very powerfully that something was wrong. But I couldn’t figure out what it was. I spent about an hour with powerful feelings of fear and abandonment coursing through me. But after an hour I remembered: Don’t take anything personally! Whatever was happening, it was about him and not me. This helped me to calm down and relax and not use up any energy I might need if something really was wrong. As it turned out, he had a stomach bug and was quite unable to answer the phone for a few hours. Day two was a powerful reminder that the world does NOT revolve around me.

On day three it was time to live the 3rd agreement: Don’t make assumptions. I did better with this one, but it was challenging. I met with a business associate to work out an agreement, and found that he and I had made very different assumptions about what we were there to accomplish. In fact we had both made assumptions about our mutual enterprise that just weren’t true. I had gone into the meeting thinking things would be set up the way I had envisioned them, and he came in with a completely different vision. Once I realized that we had different thoughts about the process I was able to drop in and listen carefully and do my best to understand his point of view. Then I was able to share my point of view fully and insist that he listen and that I have an opportunity to fully express myself. It was challenging, but knowing that it is important not to assume I know what the other person wants and needs helped me tremendously. We didn’t come to an agreement that day, but I am confident that continuing to use the four agreements will help with that process tremendously.

Day four with its agreement was like the cherry on the top of an ice cream sundae. “Always do your best” means no less, and no MORE. How many of us do more than our best on days when we are just challenged and really need to cut ourselves a break? How many of us keep working nonstop when we are tired, or sick, or distraught? On Day four I was challenged by my emotional state. After walking through the situations of the previous three days I found myself drained and needing some recreation and play in my life. So I cut out of work early, went for a swim, soaked in the hot tub, and watched a movie for a while. I needed to not do more than my best by continuing to work at my normal pace on a day that I had a lot of emotion to process. At the end of the day I still had a lot of feelings about all that had happened, but buckling down to work wasn’t as challenging anymore because I had given myself some time to clear things from my emotional body.

Will I continue to live the four agreements in my life? Absolutely. Doing the practice of living one agreement per day for four days has shown me that they fit perfectly into my existing shamanic practice and path of sacred relationship. If you are looking for a quick pick-me-up to your relationships I highly recommend that you try them.

]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-four-agreements-in-four-days.htm/feed 0 Manifesting the Beloved: Receiving the Gift http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-receiving-the-gift.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-receiving-the-gift.htm#comments Sat, 04 Jun 2011 00:44:52 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-receiving-the-gift.htm Manifesting the Beloved, in particular my experience of Being in the Void. Since that time my dream of a committed, easeful, loving, and passionate partnership has come true! I am ecstatic to be sharing True Love with a man I have known and loved for most of my adult life. Now the stakes seem higher, and the chance of making a mistake and screwing it all up looms large in my fear zone. I’m learning a whole new set of lessons about Receiving the Gift.

It’s funny how when I finally get something that I want I am not sure how to receive it. I often have that feeling of “it’s too good to be true”, and there is so much about this relationship that is good. This is a man who cooks, cleans, and does those manly chores that I don’t know how to do, without being asked. This is a man who loves me unconditionally and tells me so every day. This is a man who likes to hold me all night long and make love to me passionately with sacred connection. This is a man who wants to not only be my partner but my tantric partner. With this man I experience trust, ease, unconditional love, and passion — all the key elements of true love.

This is terrifying.

It reminds me of the time my son’s father gave me the exact brand and model of new camera that I had been longing for. My first reponse? “We can’t afford this!”. The camera sat in its cardboard packaging for at least two weeks, and when I finally took the camera out of the box I had trouble remembering to use it, to embrace it as part of my life. I just couldn’t seem to accept that it was mine. A few months later it was stolen. Talk about the law of attraction! I was simply not able to receive that camera and accept that I deserved it.

I have a similar problem with men.

I have a lifelong habit of pushing away the men who love me. Perhaps it’s because I grew up with a mother who showed her love by paying extreme attention to every detail of my life. Her attention came with a lot of suggestions for my improvement. I learned to associate “I love you” with “please change and be different”. As an adult this association still gives me the urge to run from love. I still struggle to accept that men are able to love me the way that I am–no changes needed. At the same time over the years I have developed almost zero tolerance for anyone who wants to change me.

Obviously I still have healing to do. I know that the sweet spot lies somewhere between people pleasing and total individualism.

It’ s a process. My growth is that these days I SEE what I am doing. I watch myself try to push love away, and when that happens I work and ask Spirit for help to shift my behavior and to heal the emotions that create that behavior.

Celebration is definitely in order that I have finally stopped attracting men who canot love me. Now it is time to open to the possibility of Happily Ever After.

As I watch my beloved’s deep concern not only for my welfare, but for the welfare of all his friends, I see how insane is the desire to push him away. I understand too that I have been “single” for 6 years. I have had lovers, business partners, and tantric partners during this time, but not a romantic partner that shared with me a vision of a life together. Adjusting to having another person deeply in my life will take some time.

One of the reasons we have been best friends all these years is that our reactions and feelings to situations are so similar. So we both wonder: Is it ok that we feel comfortable being in the same space all day but working independently? Is it good that after several days together we both want some solitude? Is it weird that we flow so well together for things like meals and activities but sometimes disagree about how to organize our belongings and our spaces? Is it too soon to wonder how all these idiosyncricies will fit together if we share living space?

I tell myself the same thing about this over and over: I don’t have to decide today, and Spirit has led me here, so I trust that Spirit will help us both to know what is right.

For now my work is to keep opening my heart, to keep reminding myself that this man is NOT the father who was absent for so much of my life or the mother who loves me through constant correction. This man is someone who tells me how beautiful I am every day, who supports my spiritual and creative growth, who loves to talk with me on the phone when we can’t be physically together. This is the man who is my true love. And finally, I am learning to receive the gift.

]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-receiving-the-gift.htm/feed 3 Munay Ki Initiation – the Power of Love http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/munay-ki-initiation-the-power-of-love.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/munay-ki-initiation-the-power-of-love.htm#comments Wed, 27 Apr 2011 00:14:10 +0000 admin http://www.yabyummy.com/?p=3174

Most of us were here because we had at some point in the last year received the Munay Ki Rites of Initiation from our teacher. A beautiful blonde bombshell, she was most decidedly not Peruvian, but had trained for many years with the shamans and emanated a magnetic gracefulness and power.

When I first received the rites, it was from my teacher’s assistant, but they were no less powerful. In one night I received four rites of intiation called the Healer’s Rites, the Seer’s rites, the Bands of Power, and the Harmony Rites. With each initiation I dropped more and more into an altered state. I seemed to see shapes and hear voices. There was magick in the air.

After the rites I went home and began a series of seven fire ceremonies, one every two weeks, that were designed to help me integrate the intiations. One by one, these ceemonies worked through and rebalanced my relationship to my vitality, desire, power, love, self-expression, vision, and to Spirit. At the end of this time I found myself practically gleaming with clarity. I knew what I wanted and how to get there. Old relationships that were creating havoc and energy drains in my life simply melted away with no drama. Obstacles to my evolution evaporated. I found myself within short order single and free of relationships and commitments that had been pulling at me for years. I came into a year of healing that completely changed my relationships with men, money, and life path.

Two years later the effects of these initiations are still reverberating through my life. Since I received the initiations and then trained to transmit them to others, I have traveled to Peru, upleveled my business, increased my abundance, and found true love. As I write this I am writing my second book, and the words are simply pouring through me onto the page, so much more effortlessly than with my first book. My life continues to get fuller and richer, and my spiritual connection continues to increase as my sensitivity to and communication with Spirit grows stronger. I am living the life of my dreams, and I know that this shift began with the Munay Ki.]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/munay-ki-initiation-the-power-of-love.htm/feed 0 Manifesting the Beloved: Being in the Void http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-being-in-the-void.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-being-in-the-void.htm#comments Tue, 05 Apr 2011 00:56:25 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-being-in-the-void.htm Manifesting the Beloved has activated my fear again. Activating my inner magnet (which I wrote about last month) and following my guidance has brought me something I didn’t expect — a possibility of a relationship with a lifelong love. As that possibility is unfolding and I am waiting to see what will happen, I am learning about Being in the Void.

For many months now I have not been in a formal partnership. I am not committed to anyone, have nobody to check in with, and am free to do as I please. At the same time, something both magickal and terrifying is happening in my life with an old flame. We are healing the past with each other and waiting to see if we will come into alignment for deep lifelong partnership.

As I write these words I feel the terror in my heart oozing out through my fingertips. I have married twice to other men who I loved deeply. Both times eventually the partnership ended because we had grown in different directions. I have told myself that maybe such a thing as partnership to the end of my life with a man doesn’t exist. But as I have been drawn into deeper love and connection with this new/old man, I have realized something: he and I have been friends and lovers off and on for 31 years. I didn’t expect us to ever deepen into anything more. But something unexpected is happening in my being, and it seems to be happening to him as well. It is most terrifying for me because I can feel the rightness of it, feel Spirit leading me into it, and It feels like being drawn into a void. I am terrified because I have no idea what I will find there. I am scared because there is a real possibility of getting everything I want, And I keep asking myself: why is that so frightening? Perhaps it is because I have been in love with this man my entire adult life. How do I wrap my head around the possibility that he might be the one I’ve been searching for all this time?

Bewilderment and terror of this kind is guaranteed to send me running for guidance. So this morning I drew a card from the Druid Animal Deck and came up with Salmon. Salmon represents ancient and deep wisdom, and leaping ahead with ease. Salmons swim upstream not through force of will, but by knowing the undercurrents of the stream that flow in the opposite direction, that can carry them where they want to go. The card advises cultivating an attitude of openness and wonder for what Spirit will bring next. I see how this is the only antidote to my terror, that to sit in this space of not knowing and at the same time hoping and at the same time refusing to believe it’s possible, that I must surrender. I must let go and let the currents take me to the place that the Universe intends. I asked for a life partner, now I must surrender to the way in which Spirit wants to bring that to me.

This surrender is a lot like being a child asking my Mom for a cookie. It doesn’t work very well if I start dictating whether she bakes or buys the cookie. And if she bakes the cookie, it’s not helpful for me to stand over her and tell her how to do it — especially if I’m a child who knows nothing about cooking while she has years of experience! When it comes to God I have to realize that I am like a little child, and I have to trust Him/Her to be a good parent and bring me the best choice that is possible for me.

Surrender means that I have to cultivate patience, and I have to be open to how things manifest in my life. It doesn’t mean I have to accept everything that is sent my way. I can refine my request by asking for adjustments here and there. But I also have to realize that some adjustments won’t be allowed, because they are not in my best and highest good. Some things Spirit will insist on whether I like them or not.

There is a certain beauty in Spirit bringing me back into relationship with someone I have been in love with my entire life. If this works out, if it happens, it is a love story almost too good to be true, to good to believe — and it’s all I’ve ever wanted.

]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-being-in-the-void.htm/feed 0 The Power of Sacred Yoni Massage http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-power-of-sacred-yoni-massage.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-power-of-sacred-yoni-massage.htm#comments Fri, 25 Mar 2011 19:55:34 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-power-of-sacred-yoni-massage.htm I can still remember the first time I heard about yoni massage from my teacher, Mellissa. I was taking a women’s class that was dedicated to unlocking our power as women, and a study of sexuality was a part of that. Mellissa mentiond that we should consider getting a yoni massage with a healing practitioner. I thought she was nuts. I couldn’t imagine letting a strange man touch my yoni for an extended time. The Gynecologist, that was one thing, necessary for my continued good health. But yoni massage? I didn’t really need that, did I?

Well, one thing led to another and a year or so later I found myself in relationship with Steven Jay, the co-founder of Yabyummy. After we had been practicing tantra together for a short while, he proposed to give me a yoni massage. I had by that time given him numerous lingam massages, so it seemed only fair. But I still wasn’t sure what I was going to get out of it, how it was going to help.br />
I still remember that first time. It was like losing my virginity. I was nervous. He was going to spend 2 hours giving me a sensual massage that culminated in massaging my yoni, after which we weren’t going to have sex. Was that going to be weird? Was I going to be left unsatisfied? Was he? What was going to happen?br />
The first thing that happened was we got into an argument about the temperature of the room, and then about how the blanket and sheets were positioned over my body. I know now that this argument was a result of my fear and trying to control the situation. I know also (because we talked about it later) that fear was coming up for Steven too about whether he would be able to do this ritual without feeling devoured by my need to be nurtured. br />
In the end, it was phenomenal. It was in some ways like a regular massage. Steven found places in my yoni that were holding pain, and needed healing. He found other places I hadn’t known about that held incredible pleasure. And afterward he held me and we fell asleep in each others arms. br />
It was incredibly nurturing for me, and the next day I felt loved and lighter inside. After several more yoni massages, over a period of time, I noticed that my yoni had no more pain, and that she became more and more able to experience pleasure in areas that had been numb before. I became multiorgasmic where before orgasm had been difficult for me. Much of the shame and guilt around my sexuality became healed from this and other tantric practices that we did together.br />
Because this experience was so powerful for both of us, we created the Sacred Yoni Massage event, which we then videotaped so that more women could be helped by this amazing practice. I teach without Steven now, as his path has led him elsewhere. But I always feel his smiling presence in the room when I lead this event. br />
]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/the-power-of-sacred-yoni-massage.htm/feed 2 Manifesting the Beloved: Cultivating the Inner Magnet http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-cultivating-the-inner-magnet.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-cultivating-the-inner-magnet.htm#comments Tue, 01 Mar 2011 17:04:36 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-cultivating-the-inner-magnet.htm Manifesting the Beloved, and how I have been following Spirit’s guidance to attracting the relationship of my dreams. Last month I wrote about visioning my ideal partner, allowing Spirit to bring that vision to me, instead of trying to create it from scratch all by myself. Spirit has been doing a bang-up job through Synchronicity of bringing me books to read, meditations to do, vision boards to create, affirmations to write that are all focused on the partnership of my dreams. With all this visioning in place, I am truly ready to cultivate my inner magnet.



The key to the inner magnet is to combine deep self love with the ability to receive from others. Add to this a big dose of discernment so that you can tell if it makes sense to open to an opportunity or let it pass by. The magnet is not passive. I’m not just sitting around waiting for something to happen. Instead I am focused on pulling to me what feels right. All day every day is a meditation. The focus in that meditation is letting my heart shine bright like the sun. That brightness feels so good, and it draws people and situations to me like moths to a flame.

To brighten this light within me even more, I am doing something that I have resisted for years–I am making vision boards, LOVE vision boards. I surf the internet to find pictures of couples kissing, holding hands, cuddling, making tantric love, hiking, and anything else that I can think of that I want in a relationship. Then I put these pictures together into a wildly vibrant computer collage. The effect is powerful. Looking at my collage several times a day fills me with a crazy giggly joy. And I realize that feeling has a name–anticipation. I’m starting to feel as though I already have what I want even though it isn’t here yet. It feels like it is just around the corner. There is no longing, only excitement.

Up ‘til now, I could see all the things that I needed to get RID of–the flaws in my own character, the casual boyfriends that didn’t want to cultivate personal growth or love with me, the grief over the ending of past relationships, my overreactions to certain behaviors in my partners. But I couldn’t see very well until recently how to grow what I DO want. Now that growth is radiating into all of life for me, even into what I wear–which is shifting to radiant white and pink instead of protective black. My dress is reflecting my inner being, which feels light, free, and full of love.

My heart is becoming a beautiful Spring garden, and this garden is making the magnet pull powerfully. I can see it around me in the way men are responding to me as I walk through my life. They are responding differently because I am behaving differently. All this love in my heart doesn’t just stay inside me. It spills over into loving, thoughtful, and gentle words and actions. It blossoms into a serenity that follows me wherever I go, like a cloud. Things that used to bother me don’t even make a dent in my awareness anymore. Whenever anyone says or does something that used to be horribly upsetting, all I can see now is how that is perfect for them. Even if their choices take away time I might have spent with them or deeper connection, I accept that as Spirit’s will. I just keep loving them. The love I feel pulsing in my heart most of the time flows through me like a river, a gift from Spirit. It’s no longer a feeling I have to work so hard to create each day.

When I have this feeling of BIG LOVE in my heart combined with an VISION of what I want, miracles are possible.

Right now the miracle is in my relationship with a very special man in my life. We have known each other for over 30 years and been in and out of relationship over those years. We have learned so much from each other and have always remained friends. Lately we have come to a place of deep heart connection that is new for me, and when I am with him I feel a quiet and deep joy and intimacy. This is most especially a miracle because recently I realized that there was a big difference between us in what we want. He wants polyamory, while my desires have been shifting more towards monogamy. With this difference between us, I have decided for now to withdraw from sexual intimacy. But the profound part is that the BIG LOVE is still there. Do I miss having more than that with him, and dream of more in the future ? Yes. But I have a calm acceptance in me that knows that whatever happens, whether he becomes my life partner or someone else does, we will still have this love between us.

The continuing of that love, the enjoyment we continue to feel in each other’s presence, is the miracle.

With this wide-open heart I am finally BECOMING the partner that I want to ATTRACT in relationship. Do I want to attract a man with a wide open heart? Then I have to cultivate that in myself. Someone who will listen to me and offer comfort? Then I need to become a good listener myself. Do you see? The more I cultivate in myself the things I want in another, the more likely I am to attract that. Because man who is kind generous, and ready to commit to a deep heart connection is going to be most attracted to a woman who can offer him those things back.

For now, in this moment, I am content. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I feel the anticipation of something new and magical on the horizon as my heart senses a shift about to come. This shift is the next, most mysterious step in manifesting the beloved–that magickal moment when the perfect partner appears.

]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-cultivating-the-inner-magnet.htm/feed 0 Manifesting the Beloved: Dreaming the Ideal Partner http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-dreaming-the-ideal-partner.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-dreaming-the-ideal-partner.htm#comments Tue, 18 Jan 2011 01:16:53 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-dreaming-the-ideal-partner.htm Manifesting the Beloved, and how I have been following Spirit’s guidance to attracting the relationship of my dreams. Last month I wrote about my practice of loving myself. Self love is critical in attracting the partner of your dreams, because you attract what you ARE. Once you have mastered the critical practice of loving yourself, you are ready to vision your ideal partner.



I began dreaming about my ideal partner in the usual way, by making lists of qualities I wanted in a partner. Finding out what I really DIDN’T want in a partner helped me to define what I DID want. Over the years, my vision kept shifting. But then something happened. One night in the midst of a deep shamanic trance dance, Spirit showed me a vision of the partner that would be coming into my life. A template, if you will, for success. Essentially it seemed that Spirit was saying, “look for a man that looks and feels like this”.

The template wasn’t a snapshot of a man, it didn’t have physical features I could focus on. But it had a feeling to it, an bright and shining energy, a strength of character, a solid masculine energy. I made sure to anchor that vision firmly in my consciousness at the end of the trance dance. I drew pictures of it, wrote about it, and brought it into my daily meditations.

Focusing on that image brought me closer to ideal life partnership than I have ever been. For 8 months I was in relationship with a partner who had many qualities that I hadn’t experienced before in a mate, and I LIKED them. He had radiance, spirituality, awareness, and was easy to be with. We shared many things in common. But then after 8 months it became clear that there was one thing critical out of sync between us. I wanted life partnership, while he wanted to date and explore polyamory and freedom. Sadly, we decided that it was the highest choice for us to part ways.

Even though that relationship didn’t work, I have tremendous gratitude for my time with him, because now I have a very clear experience in my body of what it feels to be with someone with those qualities. I know that that anchoring those feelings is part of attracting my ideal partner. But there is more.

It is not enough to simply vision the qualities that I want in my partner, I must also FEEL what it is like to have my heart’s desire fulfilled. I must let myself feel the open expansive heart, the wonder at the world around me, and the freedom within that are all part of my own experience of being in love with the man of my dreams.

Manifestation works best when I combine my thoughts, actions, feelings, and visions so they are all in alignment. Once everything lines up, there is a magick moment that sends a message out into the world, that starts to draw to me what I desire most.

In the months since the ending of that relationship, there has not been another man with those qualities, and I have been patiently waiting, continuing to focus on the feeling of having what I want. I have the feeling of the template Spirit has given me within my bones, and I can line it up with any man I meet to see if it is a match, kind of like overlaying a transparent film picture over a more solid piece of art to see if the lines match up. This has saved me a lot of grief in recent times, allowed me to stay out of long term relationship with men who just aren’t going to line up with that energy.

I continue to prepare myself each day for the arrival of my ideal partner. I work at being the person I want to attract, at holding unconditional love in my heart.

If you want to explore this step of the journey with me, I suggest that you go into a deep meditation and ask Spirit to show you your ideal partner. They may not have a face or any physical details that you can make out. But you will get some sense of them and some feeling for their energy. Once you have that template from your meditation, draw it, write about it, anchor it in your consciousness. Visualize it every day. The more you anchor this image in your being, the stronger will be your magnet attracting that to you. The sooner you will be ready for the next step: cultivating your inner magnet.

]]> http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-dreaming-the-ideal-partner.htm/feed 1 Manifesting the Beloved: Loving Yourself http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-loving-yourself.htm http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-loving-yourself.htm#comments Thu, 09 Dec 2010 01:12:07 +0000 Kypris http://www.yabyummy.com/blog/manifesting-the-beloved-loving-yourself.htm Manifesting the Beloved, and how I have been following Spirit’s guidance to attracting the relationship of my dreams. Last month I wrote about my practice of de-armoring my heart. This month I want to share with you about what had to come next for me once I started feeling things more deeply: Self Love. This is a critical turning point on the path to attracting a partner, because all love is just a projection of ourselves. If we cannot love ourselves, then we can never really love another person. We simply don’t have the capacity.



Removing my armor opened up my heart so much that I began to feel everything more deeply. I felt more love and pleasure—Wow! That was wonderful! But I also started to feel a lot more PAIN. Surprised, because I expected to feel better as I moved forward on my journey, I had to let go of the notion that feeling better meant letting go of all sad, angry, or fearful feelings and floating in bliss all the time. Instead I have been ravished by love AND by pain. And it has broken me open. Loving myself is the key to staying in my openness, to move through the pain when it comes, and fully open to the joy when it hits me.

Self care is the key to dealing with the pain. Acting as if I loved myself, I began to do for myself the things that I had always done for others throughout my life. I made healthy meals, took myself out to dinner, made sure I got extra sleep when I was tired or upset. I took long evenings just to read a good book. I stopped caring for everyone else unless they WANTED me to help. I came into freedom.

Ironically, I learned that I felt better when I focused on taking care of myself and stopped expecting other people to do it. Anxiety that I’d been carrying for years left me. I knew that I would always be there for me, I didn’t have to worry about abandonment anymore! The men in my life were delighted with the changes in me because as it turns out, they never wanted to be mothered. On the contrary, what they really wanted was the opportunity to take care of me, to give to me on their own terms.

This was a shock. I started to discover that the more “selfish” I was about my own care, about what I wanted and needed and providing that for myself, the more admiration and respect I began to receive from the men in my life. Not only that, but the better I started to feel. There was no more lack or scarcity around love in my life. Gratitude filled my heart and I started to experience a new sense of satisfaction in life. I had been stuck in a place where I was grabbing on to men to feel ok. If a man didn’t love me, it meant that I wasn’t lovable. The death of that myth was a huge part of my freedom.

Nobody else can provide self care for me. I have to do the work. That means I have to take the time to eat properly, sleep enough, exercise, meditate, and all the other things that are needed to keep my body mind and spirit in proper working order. The same is true of loving myself. Nobody else can reach inside my head and undo the thoughts that tell me I am not lovable.

You see, once I started to take care of myself, I noticed that I still had thoughts in my head that needed rewiring. There were all kinds of misfires in my circuitry that told me I didn’t deserve that kind of care and attention. And Goddess forbid anything would go wrong in my life, because I would find a way to blame myself, whether it was really my fault or not.

Thought mastery became my next practice, to write down the thoughts running through my head and rework them. I meditated with those thoughts to untangle them, turned them around Byron Katie style to find the other truths that were there, burned them in countless fires to let go. I began to see that my suffering and pain were mostly created by the way I was thinking about things.

Flourishing is my life goal now. Living my dreams has become the journey, because following those dreams is advanced self love. One small dream I had always carried was to have a beautiful bedroom retreat. So I created that for myself. By far the most extravagant thing I did, aside from purchasing beautiful sheets and feather comforters and pillows, was to buy a glorious painting. It was the most money I had ever spent on something that wasn’t “practical”. But I have had so many hours of pleasure and joy from simply looking at it. In my last living space I positioned the painting so I would see it each morning when I woke, and each evening as I was relaxing in bed before going to sleep. I have decided that art IS practical, because it gives me so much pleasure that I am sure my body is healthier and my mind is happier because of it.

I love myself as much as I can in these ways: travel, time with friends, hot baths, playing the piano, drawing out my thoughts and ideas with markers and crayons, and through many other pleasures. I have embraced with my whole self that I am here to experience all of life, both the pleasure and the pain. This means that I am here to live as fully as I can, to open whether there is pain or pleasure. To keep saying yes to what Spirit brings me. On that journey I move towards the next step in bringing my beloved to me: dreaming my ideal partner into being.

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