The Third Gateway, Soul Gazing is about gaining awareness of our inner world. We have learned to connect and invite the divine in, and to become present though opening our hearts, and now it is time to dive deeper. The work of becoming aware is about exploring all the things in ourselves, and particularly in our shadow selves, that keep us from being fully alive and fully connected. The shadow is a part of the psyche that stores the pieces of ourselves that we want to hide, forget, or ignore. These parts may be negative or positive. Maybe we ignore our special gifts because we are afraid of success. Maybe we ignore our darkness because we want to be perfect. To come fully into awareness, we must do shadow work so that these buried parts of ourselves do not distract us from simple awareness of each moment.

Our women’s class is designed to be safe, yummy, and powerful. You will meet with Kypris as your guide for six weeks, with women only every week. You will have the opportunity to do partnered work with men by opting to attend a white puja or retreat at a discounted rate, and these events will be happening every month. In this class we will explore creating a daily solo practices that include ceremonies, breathing, and guided imagery designed to connect you with your inner sexual power and spiritual bliss, as well as more advanced concepts of energy circuiting and feminine magnetism.

We invite you to register for Soul Gazing ($195)

Join us for both Soul Gazing and Temple Bellydance (special package price $255)

In this class we move even deeper in our exploration of the seven basic movements of temple bellydance, as we learn to practice these movements on the floor. Whether you are a beginner or advanced student, you will learn to connect deeply with the Divine feminine and with your own deep sensuality and power as a woman by performing dance movements kneeling, sitting, and lying down. Embracing the full power of the sacred dancer, you learn to bring even more passion and presence to your dance.

Your body learns through inner experience to create movement and to heal its emotional and spiritual wounds. You will use movement to explore both your sensuality and your sacred soul. Your body will discover new ways to awaken and move the sexual energy and to use that energy in any way you choose to create a passionate and deeply centered life.

We invite you to register for Temple Bellydance ($80)

Join us for both the Soul Gazing Women’s Class and Temple Bellydance ($255)

You are invited to join us for our monthly community Peace, Love, and Passion shamanic tantra experience. This event is absolutely free and open to everyone. This is great a great way to learn more about shamanic tantra and the six gateways path in a safe and loving environment. Please come with your friends and join us for socializing with the yabyummy community, followed by some time to ask questions and experience some solo and partnered exercises. This event is a potluck, so please bring something healthy and delicious to share.

We welcome you to come as often as you would like. Each Peace, Love, and Passion Potluck will focus on a different topic so you will always be learning something new. All we ask is that you bring someone new each time so that our community can continue to grow.

We invite you to register by filling out the form below. Check the newsletter box to receive Yabyummy mailings and stay informed of other events in our tantra community.

Many of our students who have begun a regular solo practice have been asking for a place to come and be supported by a group of loving peers walking the same journey, to help them anchor lasting change in their lives. We will meet on Thursdays when there is no Peace, Love, and Passion Potluck, to learn and review the solo practices of shamanic tantra. Each week we will do both moving and seated meditation practices, using visualization and breath to anchor us in our ecstatic revelations. We invite you to join us, deepen your practice, and enjoy the fellowship of like-minded people.

We invite you to register by filling out the form below. Check the newsletter box to receive Yabyummy mailings and stay informed of other events in our tantra community.

For most women, sexual arousal begins in the breasts. Awakening the breasts to feel love and sexual fire, and then to connect them to the yoni, is a powerful piece of the sexual healing journey. In this ceremony, a woman’s heart has the opportunity to fully open, and she can flow into a place of feeling loving and sexual at the same time. An open and awakened heart makes a woman more receptive to love, more likely to find love, and more able to keep it flowing in her life. In healing her heart, the woman finds herself opening more sexually, and becoming more willing to connect deeply with men. As she opens, she draws men to her like a magnet, and her experience of connection with them becomes more joyful and ecstatic.

We have space for 3 spiritual and committed couples in this event. We will be filming this ceremony so that we can share it with other couples who prefer to practice in the privacy of their own home. The couples who attend will not be filmed, only the facilitators.

Or pre-order the video.

Lately I’ve been having phantom orgasms. Or that’s what I call them. I’ll be there with all the signs and symptoms, explosives ready to go off and it culminates into a poof of evaporated energy. I have never experienced anything like it. I wonder if my body is recalibrating itself. Regardless, I am just trying to stay aware and accept myself as is. The phantom orgasms still feels good, but they are certainly not blinding me with my own juicy shakti-ness.

Take Two
In this red part of the soul gazing gateway, I experienced my second yoni massage. My first yoni massage was pretty profound and opened up a lot of energy inside me. That was about 4 months ago, and I’ve done a lot of work on myself since then. I was curious to see what would happen this time around. Would we unearth more sticks and stones hiding behind my g spot? Or would I feel sensations that would make my body glad to be alive?

At the end of the sacred tree meditation, Steven Jay beckoned me to a pool of water inside my mind’s eye…sort of a lucid journey. “Look into the mirrored pool, it is sacred and holds many secrets,” he said. “Who looks back at you and what does she have to say?”

I saw myself as a ghost image, beautiful in spirit form. Steven encouraged me to set an intention for the yoni massage ritual. I knew what I wanted; the image of me in the pool of water didn’t have to tell me anything.

“I want to stop giving my power away to others,” I said.

This is something a lot of us do—give our power away. Every time you withhold your true feelings, fail to speak up or make numerous “compromises” that simply don’t jibe with who you are intrinsically, you give your power away. “He doesn’t mean anything by it when he talks down to me…It’s okay that she never asks permission, I can deal with it…Why bother saying anything to him? I’ll just go along with it because it’s easier.” These are all basic examples of situations where an individual gives his or her power away.

I’ve been giving my power away for years. I’ve played it small because I didn’t think being big was an option. I learned to give my power away at a very early age when it became apparent that there was a power struggle between me and my father. Naturally, a 5-year-old girl is going to shut up and swallow her pain rather than get hit repeatedly with a leather belt. You want the power daddy? It’s all yours.

But I’m not 5 anymore and, not only that, I have healed the relationship with my father. Then why on earth do I continue to give my power away? This is the million dollar question and it’s not going to be answered today. But I will make progress, damn it.


Letting Go
My second intention was to let go and release. This is a tall order for a control freak, people. I have yet to get the hang of the whole surrender thing. I have success in fits and starts, but I kick and scream the entire way. Several times spirit gently leads me to a place where I have no choice but to surrender. I always come out the other side in one piece, but I resist and resist until I can’t resist anymore and then the only choice I have is to surrender. I laugh at myself on the other side of this grueling wrestling match. And still I go back to holding on to my mental trappings for dear life.

The yoni massage, I have to say, was pure ecstasy this time around. If you didn’t read my first blog entry, read it for more details about the ritual itself or read the technical how-to. Frankly, I was so blissed out during most of the ritual, I am not quite sure what happened. I do know I experienced no resistance whatsoever. My body was electric, just like the Walt Whitman poem of the same name (hey, I will throw in allusions to literature whenever I can). My yoni—as I sit here and blush over the keyboard—she L-O-V-E-D it. She quivered and shook and contracted and surrendered to the waves of energy pouring down from spirit through Steven. I felt like my skin was air. I became lost inside a mini vortex of ecstatic light.

Did I have an orgasm? No, I did not (and it is not the goal). But you know what? It didn’t matter at all. The sensations I felt inside my body far surpassed my perceptions of orgasm. The opening, the tingling all over my body, the expansiveness…it felt like my body was turned inside out and dipped in a pool of healing bliss. I would not trade an orgasm for this feeling. And the bonus: I felt so empowered, just like I did following the last yoni massage. My heart was wide open and my little breasts felt like gigantic orbs of love. I felt extremely present with people and content. I also felt very powerful and able to speak my truth.

And so, for the test: life.

Richness enfolds our emotional life when we open our heart. The open heart is not always about joy, but it is always about authenticity, about a better way to be in the world, a way that cultivates peace, love, and flexibility. Why flexibility? What does that have to do with love? Well, if you think about it, there is an association of softness that comes with the open heart, and this softness, this pliability of the heart, is what allows love to flow between two people. In shamanic tantra, the spiritual connection flows primarily between the hearts and genitals of the lovers. When you create a circuit that connects the genitals to the heart, you create an opulent and sensual connection unlike anything you may have experienced before. Surrendering to this love, and to the journey that begins when we decide to focus on love and sexuality in our lives, is the beginning of healing the heart.

We have revamped our women’s class to make it even safer, yummier, and more powerful. Starting with this class, we will meet for six weeks, with women only every week. You will have the opportunity to do partnered work with men by opting to attend a white puja or retreat at a discounted rate, and these events will be happening every month. In this class we will explore creating a daily solo practices for opening the heart, self-love rituals, breathing, and guided imagery designed to connect you with your inner sexual power and spiritual bliss, as well as more advanced concepts of energy circuiting and feminine magnetism.