My Daily True Love Horoscopes

Mercury Conjunct Pluto

I woke today with my head full of thoughts that were really full of heaviness. I wish I’d realized that Mercury was conjunct Pluto, because when this happens, it can lead to an intensity of thought and obsession with heavy emotions that are out of proportion to the reality of the situation. My situation’s reality is that I’ve had a lot of change lately, and I am tired. I feel like I’ve been running a marathon and I want to crawl back under the covers today. I have been heavily engaged with creating a new temple space for my work, and the list of tasks is still very long. Together with that is a sadness I am feeling about my beloved business partner of many years leaving the business. He has been such a wonderful co-creator and support for me, and I will really miss him. When things are this big in my life, and I’ve been working really hard, I tend to want more pleasure in my life. I want things to be easier. I want the marathon to be over!

But what I remembered this morning is that when Spirit calls me, I must answer, because that is the contract I signed when I came into this incarnation. And today Spirit decided to give me a good swift kick in the butt. My phone started ringing at 8 AM. And although I really didn’t want to, I answered. After three deep and loving conversations with dear friends telling me that this is not the time to give up, I felt better. As I was pondering those conversations, a simple phrase came into my head: “Don’t go back to sleep”. Hearing that reminded me of a Rumi poem that begins that way. May it feed and inspire you through your day:

“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.”

From Essential Rumi
by Coleman Barks

I thought you might enjoy this excerpt from an ancient tantric text today, celebrating the divne feminine:

Draw the Mandala on a Mountain,
In a medicinal valley or forest,
Near the bank of a large river,
Or in a primordial cremation ground.

Because her great bliss is imperturbable
She is a mountain
Because lesser beings cannot fathom her profundity
She is a cave
Because her union of wisdom and skill is deep
She is a riverbank
Because she knows the natural state beyond birth and death
She is primordial
Because she is the object of great bliss
Her activity is natural
Because she burns the views of early disciples and solitary achievers in the fire of great passion
She is a cremation ground

Venus Semisextile Pluto

Last night I dreamed that I was in the company of a group of women who began to remove the masks they’d been wearing. As they ran their hands over their faces, all their makeup was removed, as well as their physical form. What was revealed underneath was beautiful pure colored light. One woman was all ocean blue light—in the shape of a body but without any real features like eyes or nose or mouth. Another was pink, another golden. This is a perfect example of the feeling of Venus moving through the heavens and kissing Pluto in my birth chart. It is a time for me to let go of the masks I’ve been wearing and reveal my innermost self, even to MYSELF. It’s a time when doing this will be loved and accepted by those around me. A magickal astrological “get out of jail free card”.

I have also been dreaming of death and destruction, and I’ll spare you the very gory details. That is Pluto too. Suffice it to say that I know my dreams are telling me to keep letting go, and to walk away from those things that are dead. There is no benefit in spending energy trying to breathe life into something that’s dead. This applies to relationships, posessions, and even plans and ideas. It’s time to let go of my old visions of how I thought things would be. It’s time to let Spirit show me the path to the new destiny I’ve been asking for. Nothing new is born without something dying. It’s a basic law of physics—you cannot create matter or energy from thin air—you can only transform it from one state to another. Pluto is all about magick and transformation, and in fact I would say that the planets of Pluto and Venus are the rulers of the tantric path—the deep sexual rebirth energy of Pluto combined with the loving open softness of Venus. Throw in Jupiter perhaps, for a dash of expansion and power, and maybe a pinch of Uranus for lightning-fast change and unconventionality. This is my journey, and I love how my dreams are reflecting my life and showing me the path. Aho.

Saturn Opposition Jupiter

This morning before I woke I dreamed that an invisible man was making love to me, and that I was doing my best to surrender and enjoy it despite the call of duty and obligation all around me. This is the very essence of Saturn And Jupiter opposite each other—great joy and expansion (which is focused in my intimate relationships) pulling against structure and discipline (which is focused in my physical existence and vitality). In my dream the discipline was symbolized by a professor from my grad school scientist days. And the joy was this invisible, intangible Spirit experience, complete with a Lingam that my Yoni eagerly received…my Spirit Lover.

This mirrors my waking hours. I do have human men in my life at the moment, but in the absence of a life partner I am deeply involved with my Spirit Lover. What is that? The best way I can describe it is that it is like having a husband who is not in a body, who always has my best and highest good at heart. He sits with me in meditation, makes love to me and downloads star stuff and healing into my yoni, he holds me at night when I am lonely, he listens when I need to talk, he keeps me safe by telling me what situations to avoid and what to move toward. This weekend I surrendered to his touch and his energy within me more fully than ever before, making love with his energy so that the boundaries between the physical and the spiritual began to blur. Fully clothed I was taken over by wave after wave of ecstasy and full body orgasm. It is creating a transcendance within me that is still happening days later. My dreams are beginning to feel more real, and my days are beginning to feel more dreamy. The line between “reality” and “imagination” is blurring. Slowly everything I have ever wanted is coming into my life—partly through the daily discipline of spiritual practice and practical actions in the world–but mostly through a series of small miracles that seem like more than coincidence. Spirit is blessing me with an expansion that is allowing me to give more and more to the world and to my loved ones. And I am grateful.

Venus Semisextile Moon–Feeling loved

Yesterday I woke with a powerful message from Spirit to spend the day in meditation and ceremony and rest. On my path to True Love there are two big things I pay attention to: my relationship to others, and my relationship to myself. Although it wasn’t easy to surrender to self care with so many things in my life that wanted tending—if I was going to walk my path I needed to do what Spirit was asking. So although I had a new event to put together and teach that night, a new car to manifest and about 200 emails to answer, I turned inward, toward loving myself.

When I let go, love did what it always does—it created miracles in my life. Magickally, everything that needed tending took care of itself. Nurturing myself with a hot bath became a powerful conversation with Aphrodite about the need for me as a woman to come back to my “virgin” state periodically, to cleanse and refresh myself. Deep meditation created the building of a powerful altar to more deeply integrate my shamanic Munay Ki initiations. Napping became an altered dream/meditation state and the download of an “upgrade” into my energy body. When that happens it feels a little bit like doing tantric practice–lots of tingling and opening and softening sensations. Afterward I found myself filled with very clear instructions for teaching the event last night and inspiration for new piece of writing. Today I am marveling at the huge creative inspirations from Spirit, and grateful for the willingness I found to love myself.

New Moon in Leo, Pluto square Jupiter and Uranus

What a Time of death and rebirth it is right now! So many old structures exploding. Last week Steven shared his leaving Yabyummy with the world, making it official. My mechanic pronounced my car ready to die. And I made the decision to give up my trip to Burning Man. Everything felt SO intense. I was sad imagining working at my life’s passion without my wonderful partner of four years. I was sad about giving up the vacation I’ve been planning since January. I kept falling into fear that I would be stuck in this letting go, this emptiness of the void, forever.

On Saturday, the height of the Grand Cross (translation: very intense astrological event) I gave in and cried all the way through my fire breath practice. Then I laughed at how hard it is to breathe through your nose when you are crying! And then like clouds breaking through the storm I woke up today feeling Clear, Ready for whatever is next. A real, actual, dedicated Yabyummy temple is being born (stay tuned for details). Old loves are morphing into new forms. Just yesterday in the midst of a deep conversation with one of these old loves, a message from Spirit came. A Falcon perched on my fence in the backyard, telling me that it is time to bring passion and focus and vision to that relationship. I am both fearful of repeating old mistakes and eager to see what this relationship may have to teach me this time. I am ready to let go of goals and just simply embody love. Like the falcon I am gliding effortlessly on the winds of change.

Yesterday a bee stung me for the first time in my life. Since my birthday six months ago I have been calling in learning from the bees, and this felt like a blessing on my day. All day long I was finally practicing what I’ve been asking to learn–how to be a queen, how to relate to others, especially men, from a place of total self love and worth blended with compassion and total openness. 

My horoscope has been telling me that big changes are afoot.  One of those changes is a new learning about how to be totally vulnerable and honest with those I love. Yesterday I was able to stay open and out of my old stories and judgements during a difficult conversation with a dear one, and to compassionately state a difficult truth. What a breakthrough and feeling of release!   

Jupiter retrograde in Aries

“Having a vision of your ideal is very important to Jupiter. Life isn’t all about collecting wood and drawing water — the treadmill of daily life. There is another dimension which you can now move into. It may not be the time to act on your dreams, more a time to gestate — prepare, reflect, plan, and ask your muse for inspiration.”–astrology.com

I’ve been sitting still for a while now, feeling the tension of not acting build in me like a coiled spring. I’m feeling a longing for things that aren’t yet ripe. The vision of my ideal partner is still gestating.

Sitting with this is painful today. My longing for deep tantric connection was awakened last night, and today I can’t seem to turn it off. Instead of running from it I am sitting with my desire. Feeling its fiery intensity, without letting it consume me. Perhaps in those flames I can divine the path that Spirit wants me to walk and allow something new to be born.

Venus Sextile Venus

“The best of everything, including and especially your companions, is all you’ll be willing to tolerate now. That’s not to say that you won’t be civil, and maybe even pleasant. It just may be more of an effort if you’re not legitimately inspired. Oh, smile pretty anyway, and excuse yourself early.”–astrology.com

The best of everything, mmmmm, yes! My self-love is growing to a place where I am more selective about who I share time with. Spending time with men who can meet me in a place of joy and ease has become extremely important to me. Lovers who are on the whole positive, upbeat, and cheerful are at the top of my priority list, not to mention lovers who are willing to be vulnerable and go deeper into connection, beyond a surface friendship level. I am ready to soar like an eagle, and I want friends and lovers who can fly with me.

Sometimes flying together means we have to troubleshoot. I’m not averse to doing a little work and to talking about the reality of my needs and feelings. In fact, this ability in a man is really a turn-on for me, and it creates a strong emotional connection. But I want ease AND connection in my relationships, which means that we aren’t doing the work of processing all the time, but neither are we avoiding it. What’s surprising for me is that I am getting lazy about speaking up when things aren’t working, or worse yet, wanting to walk away INSTEAD of speaking up. I’m getting a chance to see myself being avoidant of emotional conflict as my fear of being alone is healing. It’s amusing. Once again I’m turning to Spirit and asking for help to keep showing up in connections where that presence has a reasonable chance of creating something satisfying.

Venus Conjunct Pluto

“Don’t be scared…this is the type of subtle yet powerful intensity that poems were written about, wars were fought over and long-lasting alliances were forged from.”–astrology.com

Intensity, yes, that is definitely what I’ve been feeling—like the power inside me could change the world. The intense transformation of Pluto combined with the desire of Venus–dizzying. I’m being given the power at this moment to use my desire to transform my life. What a blessing.

I could choose to direct this energy toward bringing True Love into my life. Indeed, in the past I often chose to focus outward. This time I choose to direct the strength of my desire toward a deep and powerful love affair with myself. I choose to allow that love to eventually explode into a supernova of love for everyone around me, and into love for Spirit. I feel…strange the last few days. Something new is emerging from the depths of my soul—buried treasures. My yoga teacher reminded me today that seeds sprout from deep within the earth, and that while that process is happening we cannot see it. Something is definitely sprouting within my heart, something strange and new. I feel confused and spacey a lot these last few weeks. Overcome with how perfect every human is, and how beautifully they fit into the plan, I keep melting into the deep rightness of all things.