My Daily True Love Horoscopes

Today has been a beautiful one–the weather is fabulous, I had a wonderful client session this morning, and a fabulous lunch date with a very attractive man. And yet even with all these blessings and pleasures, I am feeling unhappy about the need to sit at my computer and work. I am tired of that feeling of slogging away and wondering how to get back to a place of passionate spirit and joy.

I feel that same vibe in my relationship. I know that we have a number of serious issues to address, but I just don’t want to. I want to put my head in the sand and play and pretend that those things will just go away. One issue in particular is challenging for me, that lately I’m having trouble finding motivation to do deep tantric red practice with my beloved. We make love often and it feels wonderful, but I haven’t been able to motivate myself to add deep tantra to that mix.

In some ways I know this is just a case of balance coming into my life, but in others I can feel for sure that I am avoiding real intimacy. I know there are deeper places that I can go with my beloved and I am really scared about opening my heart that wide. After all the ups and downs in my love life over the past few years, I am just plain tired and scared.

So today rather than trying to “push on through” I am relaxing and surrendering and trusting that things will move if and when they are meant to do so, as long as I hold the intention for healing and continue to do my own solo practice. It’s odd, but I have this sense that everything is going to be ok.

Just for today it’s work a little, play a little. Completing small tasks and then letting myself dance, eat soft serve ice cream and watch old “Star Trek” episodes. Aho Captain Kirk!

Last night I dreamed that I was given the loan of a beautiful chestnut mare for a day. She was too wild to ride, and had to be led at first by a rope halter tied to another horse (who of course was called Black Beauty!). By the end of the day, she and I were devoted to each other, but it was time to take her back to the farm, to those who owned her. She didn’t want to go back, and when we returned she tried to win the approval of the owner by putting on an apron and sweeping out the stalls (after all, this was a dream!). The owner insisted anyway that she be returned to her “holding tank”, sort of a giant warm soapy bath. I was sad, and petted her head to say goodbye, but she had already drifted into the land of dreams.

I know this beautiful horse is my own animal nature, which lately has been longing to come out and play more often. The sun was in Sagittarius when I was born, giving me a soul nature that is half horse and half human–half wild and physical, half cultured and spiritual . This dream speaks to an inner conflict that seems to arise in us all–finding the balance between work and pleasure, between animal and spirit, between upper and lower chakras. Lately my life has centered on hard work more than on sex, dance, art, and love, and I can feel that it is time for balance.

From this balance comes Power.

A lot of my students are telling me lately that they feel as if they are not in control of their lives anymore and I tell them my truth–none of us are. My life has taken some exciting and unexpected turns in the last few months. All of a sudden I am starting to effortlessly realize dreams that have long been buried. My relationship with my beloved, my trip to the Mountains of Colorado, and today an interview for a job that would engage my skills as a shaman and a dancer. These are things I never dreamed I could actually have, and they are dropping into my lap so rapidly. This is what happens when I let Spirit run my life, instead of me trying to force things to go MY way.

Whatever you can surrender and say yes to, do it. This is the true essence of tantra for me.

A new study just released found that stimulating the nipples in women creates activity in the same part of the brain as touching clitoris, vagina, or cervix. (http://www.livescience.com/15380-nipples-genitals-brain-map.html)

I love it when Science validates my experience.

For years I have been telling my partners that nipple stimulation is AS important as genital stimulation! One of my favorite ecstatic and blissful experiences of red tantra is the breast massage, because it stays focused on just the body, the heart, and the breasts, which for many women is a real treat.

To explore the breast massage check out my video at: http://www.yabyummy.com/store/videos/breast-massage.htm

Now there is evidence that blaming another person for what doesn’t work in your relationship is actually physically unhealthy for you. In a recent study (http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/17/bitter.resentful.ep/index.html?hpt=hp_c2), they found that resentment and bitterness towards others leads to heart disease and other serious ailments. This got me thinking about how bitter and angry I used to be.

Then one day I was listening to a friend talk about how painful it was to hear harsh words and criticism from his partner all the time. He told me that the word “Sarcasm” actually comes from a Greek word that means “To tear flesh”. I can still remember the light bulb going on in my head when I finally realized the immense impact of my behavior. The day that I apologized to my second husband for my behavior was a tremendous healing between us both, and I continue to be vigilant about letting these kinds of words leave my mouth.

I noticed this tendency creeping in again in my present partnership, and spent several days this last week meditating on kindness, love, and opening my heart. The result? A deep sweetness in my heart — I think it’s called acceptance, or maybe even LOVE.

Tarot Reading today: The Queen of Pentacles, The 10 of Wands, The Tower!

Tomorrow I will fulfill a lifetime dream to see the mountains of Colorado. Journeying by car with my beloved, I will have 10 days to be on the desert lands and then in the high desert and mountains. I am filled with joy and gratitude. To be making this journey with my beloved, it’s almost more than my heart and mind can handle. To have spent so many years waiting for this bliss and to finally have it! I can’t fully describe the utter contentment and satisfaction, not to mention the blaze of passion that has awakened in me for him, my work, and for life.

I have never before felt this joyful and centered in my life. I have never before felt such a sense of rightness. I can only imagine what magick awaits me in the Mountains. The tower tarot card tells me that the old paradigms are about to be completely blown away. I am ready. Tell you all about it when I get back!

“Pleasure is the word I use for the practice of aligning my inner being with the element of water. Water is connected with emotion and feeling. I noticed on my journey that so often the word emotion was associated with all the negative feelings of fear, anger and sadness. OK, that is one part of the spectrum, but isn’t there another part? As I began to explore, I found that the counterparts of Fear, Anger and Sadness for me were Love, Joy, and Serenity.”

–from the forthcoming “True Love 101″ by Kypris Aster Drake

“Radiance is a feeling that is born in the body when the other parts of self love have been tended to. When you have created safety and nurtured your physical body, freed your mind, and cultivated deep pleasure, radiance naturally begins to explode from you.”

–from “Journey to Sexual Wholeness” by Kypris Aster Drake
http://www.yabyummy.com/store/books/journey-to-sexual-wholeness.htm

“Blindfolded, I try to focus on my breathing as loud, pounding music fills my ears. I move and try not to bump into the myriad bodies that I know are around me. With my blindfold on, I put on an intention to come deeply into my body. The music seems to go on forever, and I move through waves of fear, pain, nausea, and weakness. I have been told to keep moving, even if I only sway and breathe to the music, so I keep on moving. I move through numbness, I move through ignorance, I move through fear, I even move through feeling ridiculous. I keep dancing. I dance even though I have been ill and my body and lungs are weak. I dance with trust that Spirit will guide me. I feel the black jaguar spirit merge with mine, the totem of my sexuality, and we dance to stalk the prey of a passionate life together. We purr, growl, stretch, and flex our claws. I keep moving, and the music keeps pounding. I worry I will bump into the person next to me, or that I will do too much and faint and be trampled. I put my trust in the facilitators and I keep moving. I hear a rattle come through the space near me, and my body feels it clearing the air around me. I keep moving. Finally the music comes to an end, and I lie down on the floor and I fly. I leave my body, which has been thoroughly worked, and I cruise into a land of pure Spirit, where my guides welcome me.”

—from “Journey to Sexual Wholeness” by Kypris Aster Drake
http://www.yabyummy.com/store/books/journey-to-sexual-wholeness.htm

“In the practice of Soul Gazing and journeying through the caverns of our souls, we sometimes stumble across a ruby lying in the dust at our feet. If we pick it up and polish it, we may discover that it is a talent or bit of wisdom that we buried long ago to avoid something in our lives. Now is the time to bring this ruby out into life and to wear it proudly around our neck as a symbol of once again embracing that talent. In my own trance journey practice, these gems often merge with my body, symbolically becoming part of me again. Be on the lookout for these gems when you journey to the underworld of your own being. Perhaps you used to sing, but gave it up because your parents told you it was a waste of your time. Or perhaps you always wanted to be a painter, but got discouraged by trying to find time and money to create. Reclaiming these parts of yourself gives you a depth of soul that will support and strengthen you in life, and gives you many parts of yourself to embrace in times of difficulty. Wear these gems proudly and you fully embrace your richness and complexity, for all humans contain a world of thoughts and feelings and creation within themselves.”

——-from “Journey to Sexual Wholeness” by Kypris Aster Drake
http://www.yabyummy.com/store/books/journey-to-sexual-wholeness.htm