True Love Horoscopes

Mercury Trine Venus

“What you’ll really be in the mood for is your couch, your bathrobe and your favorite movie in the DVD player. Don’t give in to that urge until tonight.”–astrology.com

Last night I was visited by all the rabbits that have shared my life as companions over the years. In my dream, the rabbits were full of love as I stroked their ears and their cheeks. The truth is that I am a lover of rabbits just as much as I am a lover of men! Rabbit was my first totem animal. She is the soft vulnerable side of me that I show to very few people. In fact, when I am feeling rabbitish, I tend to do as rabbits do in Watership Down: “rabbit underground, safe and sound”.

Perhaps this is all just another way of saying that I am feeling Yin right now, wanting to just BE instead of DO. This is a great time to lie around in the back yard and read or crawl into bed with my laptop and watch my old favorite movies. This is my way of communing with the spirit of Rabbit. The rabbits I have lived with always demonstrated great balance between resting, grooming and being petted, eating, and playing. In this journey I am on to True Love, I am learning to balance these same basic things. Although I am dating, I am learning to focus on ME. Instead of wondering if I am going to have a date or what a certain man is up to, instead each day I focus on how I can love and give to myself as much as I have loved and given to all the men in my life. It is time not only for me, but for all the women that I know to remember that caring for ourselves and creating a life well lived is our most important task.

Mars Trine Mercury

“Don’t worry about your antennae, because there’s no way they’ll lead you astray. The advice of others may not be quite so reliable, but you’ll easily wade through what’s legit and what’s not — as long as you pay attention to the signs along the way.”—astrology.com

One of the side benefits of doing a daily shamanic practice is that my discernment has been getting sharper. I have been doing the powerful practice of feeling into what my HEART wants, rather than what my MIND wants. This has been especially effective in my dating life as I am making decisions about who I want to spend my time and energy with. In the past I often made these decisions from an intellectual place, trying to keep things fair and equal between my different lovers. But these days I am worrying less about what is proper or reasonable, and more about what feels appropriate to ME.

It’s been hard giving myself permission to work this way. My general strategy for life has always been about keeping everyone around me happy so that they will continue to like me. But then I think about how I continue to like my lovers even when they do things that aren’t my preference, or when they choose to spend their time on other priorities. I realize that if I am liked or loved, then I AM, and doing what is best for me isn’t going to change that.

Mercury Opposition Mercury

“Stop moping around, and step away from the old Barry Manilow albums. You’ll only make it worse if you wallow in it. Get out of the house. Now.”–astrology.com

Wow, it’s so great to know there is some astrological REASON that I have been feeling so mopey. I’ve been this way for several days, part of a deep shamanic clearing. I have been working at letting go of patterns and beliefs from several past lives, a process that started just before last week’s lunar eclipse. Over the last several days I’ve been looking at how those past lives are coming into this present one in patterns of helplessness, fear, and despair. Lunar eclipses are all about dissolving old patterns and beliefs, and in this process it has almost felt like all but my innermost CORE has been dissolving and being reshaped into something strange and beautiful.

The hardest part about how I’ve been feeling is both the pain I’ve been feeling in my body, as well as my natural inclination not to reach reach out or budren anyone with these feelings. My totem is the Jaguar, and when I feel deeply wounded I have the desire to find a cave and crawl into it. I may even snarl at anyone who tries to come to my aid. But today I remembered that being VULNERABLE abut what is going on with me, and allowing my partners to be vulnerable too, is a basic part of healthy relationship. I can’t walk around afraid of being wounded and expect to create loving partnerships. Not only that, but sharing what is happening inside of me is usually enough to start raising me up out of the dark pit of despair and sadness. Right now I am in total gratitude that one of my lovers was exceedingly patient today as I poured out my feelings. Not only did he listen, but he followed the listening with some inspirational reading to help support me. Blessings to him for making the time to listen and for letting me expose the deep underbelly of my self in safety.

Venus Square Venus

“Anyone who comes across as bold, brazen or less likely than most to buckle under extraordinary pressure will absolutely capture your attention. That, and your libido.” –astrology.com

Just this morning in meditation I was musing about my ideal partner, and how important it is to me that he be very strong and fiery. As my inner awareness of my heart’s desire for relationship grows, I’ve been working to see how that lines up with Spirit’s plan for me. When I ask Spirit to show me what steps to take next on this manifestation journey, I mostly see an “energy signature” for the type of partner Spirit would like me to draw into my life. My task at the moment is to keep seeing and feeling this energy entering my life in the spiritual realm, and to keep my eyes open for a man who matches this signature in the material realm.

What’s even more interesting is that I recently learned about an astrological way to determine what type of man would really be ideal for me. I learned that I can look at my birth chart to see what astrological signs rule the areas of intimacy and sexual connection in my life. For me, these are the deep mystical spirituality of Pisces and the intense leading edge fire of Aries—an exact match to the energy signature that Spirit had already given me. I see this as a confirmation of what I want to draw into my life, and am eager and excited to see how that will manifest. It should be quite a fireworks display when it appears.

Mercury Opposition Sun

“You’ll be dealing with your share of nervous energy, which could be a bit disconcerting to others.”–astrology.com

Last night another major transition washed through me—a shamanic cleansing of my karma from several past lives. It started with my shaman class last night, I picked up a rock that called to me, and next thing I know it was moving me into a deep clearing in my lower chakras. I spent all night physically laboring, as if I were giving birth. Feeling very real pain in my body, I felt all those lifetimes where I died in childbirth. Oddly I felt no emotion, just observed, as if I were in a deep trance or meditation all night. I watched myself at one point become agitated, like a wild animal pacing the house. In the past I would have felt afraid being alone with something like this moving through me, but I was happy to be on my own with it, to go deep into the process.

Finally at 2 AM I decided to do a deeply rejuvenating yoga practice because none of my other tools were working. As I practiced a series of deep forward bends, the energy finally moved, and I started to experience a deep letting go of my recent beloved. Clearly some of those past lives were tied to him, and it was time to clear our shared karma so that I could move forward. I felt my body open up, and my root chakra relaxed. Today I notice that I have all this spaciousness in my yoni and root chakra—as if the whole world could fit into there, as if I can manifest ANYTHING. Wow, what a great feeling. There is this light that I can’t describe. I look forward to finding out what it is.

Mars Square Mc

“Pleasing anyone, whether they’re a member of your family or a career associate, will be several times more challenging than you’d ever possibly imagined. Any attempts you make to ‘fix’ things could backfire. Why not go with the flow instead?”–astrology.com

This whole pattern of people pleasing, fixing, and caretaking is one that crops up in relationship for me most powerfully when I begin to fall in love. Over the past few years I come to realize that I become a chameleon with my beloveds, and that this is an insidious and painful defense mechanism. Insidious because it is really hard to keep awareness that I am doing it. Painful because it leaves the other person feeling betrayed, abandoned, and lied to. When I fall in love, some unconscious part of myself kicks into high gear to make sure that my beloved keeps on loving me no matter what—and if I’m not careful I simply become whatever I think they want me to be. When it’s happening, it feels like I authentically want what they want, and I really am who I think they want me to be. But at some point later in the relationship, a switch flips and suddenly I come back to myself, usually with a thump. This has been very confusing and painful for my past beloveds.

So one of the things that is so phenomenal about dating but not letting myself “fall in love” or get into a serious relationship right now, is that I am for the first time in my life getting to experience my true essence in relationship with men, instead of this chameleon self that has been having relationships for all these years. I’m learning that I am pretty independent, and that I have very definite opinions about what I want and don’t want in life and in relationship. Lately I’m learning to express these opinions really clearly, and it feels good. It’s progress, and my dearest hope is that the next time I fall in love, that I will stay centered deeply in who I am.

Venus Opposition Saturn

“No, you never expected to actually be attracted to someone like him/her — but it happened. Don’t fight it.”–astrology.com

It’s the funniest thing. The men I am dating these days are not what I would call my “type”. I am naturally drawn to very rugged, earthy, bearded, masculine men. In the past my friends have often teased me about my predilection for the “mountain man”. But the men I am drawn to these days are more…full of light. They are very handsome, and some times I feel intimidated by that, not worthy. But their appearance isn’t what draws me. It’s the intensity and passion in their eyes. It’s their ability to be present, and their flawless instincts about how to create powerful energetic connections with me. Even though my experience with each of them feels very different, the common thread is this feeling of stepping outside my normal comfort zone. With both of them there is deep friendship, caring, and fiery sexual chemistry. But again, that’s not what draws me.

To be honest, the real pull is knowing that being in connection with them is Spirit’s will for me. When left to my own devices, and my own will, I tend to choose men who are not in alignment with me spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. I call this the “broken picker”. My particular life wounding has created a skewed perception with men, that is slowly healing and righting itself. Part of that healing is that I’ve stopped choosing partners in the old way—on my own. Instead I am listening to Spirit’s wisdom speak through my body. When a man asks me for a date, the first thing I do is to check in with my HEART and my BELLY (not my MIND) to see how it FEELS. If I sense any tension or contraction in my body, then I say no to the connection. But if I feel a tingling and expansion in my heart and a relaxed feeling in my belly, then I say YES. So much simpler to choose this way.

Happy Solstice!–Venus Sextile Mc

Make one simple move, whether it’s an outright invitation or a subtle gesture, and you’re golden. So, is there a problem? What could you possibly be waiting for?–astrology.com

Since my name means “golden one”, this especially speaks to me today. Yes, it’s true, men have been susceptible to my charms of late, but I have gotten very selective about who I choose to date. I know deep within my being that it would be a disservice to me and to men who are interested in me to use this charm lightly. Today is a wonderful time to reflect on this, since it is the Summer Solstice. For the last two years this has been the day on which I would take vows to my Spirit husband, renewing my pledge to be married to Spirit first, and to any human man second.

This year my vows shifted to Beltane, May 1, the celebration of the Mother. Isis appeared to me in a shamanic vision then, and told me she would be spending the next year teaching me about divine partnership. According to Her, my last two years of integrating the Divine Masculine through my practice have been successful, and it is time to shift the focus to partnership. The deep transformational phoenix energy is rising up in me. Like the phoenix, so many things in my life have died or burned away in the last 2 months—relationships, belief systems, character defects, even my feline companion. And just as quickly, new things are being born—new relationships, new beliefs, a new surrender to Spirit, and a life free of pets for the first time in 22 years. Hail to a new era of freedom…

Mercury conjunct Mc

You’re not imagining it. Everyone is, indeed, smiling at you. Don’t question it, but do be merciful. Smile back. You don’t have to give them your number.–astrology.com

This is an interesting time for me. I have had a lot of experiences in my life that I draw from when I teach and write, but right now I’m having a NEW experience. This may sound silly, but I’m DATING for the first time ever in my life. In the past I didn’t date, I just had one relationship after another. I would meet someone through work or through friends, feel drawn to them, and we would have a relationship. I married the second man I ever had a serious relationship with, at the tender age of 22!

So now, years later, after ending yet another relationship, I find myself dating. This has happened not through my conscious intention, but through the will of Spirit. After my most recent breakup, a number of men started asking to spend time with me. Something has shifted within me, and this is what I’m attracting. What is lovely about it is how centered I feel in my boundaries. I don’t have to give out my number, or my time, or my attention, unless it feels absolutely in alignment for me to do so. Occasionally I have a twinge of missing being in a committed relationship, or I have a moment of worrying that I will be lonely. And then the phone rings. And it rings again. And again. Spirit is really showing me that I can stop worrying about being ALONE. That I don’t need to get love from OUTSIDE, I just need to cultivate it INSIDE. To be honest, I don’t care whether or not I am in a relationship. I know that eventually I will be in relationship again, because that is my path in this life, and because Spirit has shown me this destiny in a trance journey. But I’m not in a hurry.

Mercury Square Jupiter

A tendency to overestimate your own abilities is a side effect of the tremendous amount of physical energy you’ve been temporarily endowed with. Promising more than you’re sure you can deliver is the worst of it. The best of it is your willingness to die trying.–astrology.com

This overestimation of the amount of time and energy I have for things seems to be a chronic problem. Today in particular I find myself with a long list of things to do that relate to work, motherhood, romance, and my spiritual practice. On a day like this I have a choice: I can allow myself to get overwhelmed, I can run myself ragged trying to “do it all”, or I can connect to source and ask what is most important.

When I centered in this morning, took that FULL HOUR for spiritual practice, it calmed me and allowed me to come out of crisis mode. I saw clearly that some things could be deferred to tomorrow, despite my desire to take care of them today. Sometimes that desire to get everything “handled” is a desire to control. And I know for sure that my path right now is exactly the opposite: to surrender. This is just another opportunity to feel into the gap between my desire and my reality. I have a DESIRE to be able to get all the things on my plate accomplished today, while still having time to be a fantastic mother and lover and friend. But the REALITY is that I will fall somewhere short of all that. And that is just fine with me, because after all, I am HUMAN.