Self Pleasure Ritual (Women)
Explore your body as if for the first time
Self pleasure and masturbation are one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself. To explore your body with loving compassion; to allow yourself the time and space to feel pleasure; and to know that you are worth giving and receiving this pleasure are some of the most powerful steps to becoming sexually and spiritually whole.
First make yourself comfortable in your bed and give yourself permission to take some time to play. Turn your phone off, light some candles, turn on some sensual music, set up your environment as if you were going to have a lover over. You are your best lover after all 
Visualize a time and place in your life that you felt connected to spirit, when your heart felt open and good. If you have a mediation practice then it may simply be when you are meditating. The first time I felt it was when I was 14 and on a sailboat at night far out at sea. I saw the stars and the milkyway in their true glory for the first time. I didn’t know what I was feeling at the time but looking back I know it was spirit because it felt good in my heart. Since then I know I feel connected to spirit when I am out in nature, when I am dancing, at yoga, when I feel the sun on my face, when I meditate, when I take a deep breath and reconnect to my body and the present moment, when I teach, and of course when I make love.
Once you have this visualization in your head slowly undress yourself and lie down on your bed. Make yourself comfortable with pillows and blankets. Now place your hands on your heart and take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. Keep doing this while you visualize the feeling of connectedness to spirit. Don’t worry about visualizing the place just the feeling and breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth. As you do this you may start to feel your body come alive, tingle, feel good. This may take a while so just keep breathing, visualizing the feeling of spirit and holding your heart, without judgment.
Through this whole practice you will have times when your mind wanders, when you go into sexual fantasy, when you trance out, when you have thoughts of work or how silly this is… When you realize you are having these thoughts just thank your mind for doing what it thinks will keep you safe, tell that little voice in your head that you love it and that you can keep it safe now. Take a deep breath and come back into the present moment, reconnecting to the feeling of spirit in your body and simply continue.
As you breath with your hands on your heart you will start to feel; good, sad, mad, joyous… Just let yourself have these feelings. When it feels appropriate begin to caress your breasts. The trick here is to stay present to the feeling and not go into fantasy. Imagine that you have never touched yourself before and simply feel what it feels like to caress your breasts. In tantra we don’t have any goals. You are not trying to make yourself feel good or have an orgasm. You are just breathing, connecting to spirit and caressing yourself lovingly. Again just go back to the breath whenever you feel yourself going into old patterns. The breasts are the gateway to a goddesses sexuality so awaking them first before moving to the rest of the body is a beautiful practice.
You may start to feel light headed or tingles in your hands. As your breasts awaken you will feel drawn to explore the rest of your body. Play with yourself. Touch yourself lightly and slowly. A good measure is that you should be moving as slowly as you are breathing. Stay with this exploration of your body for as long as you can before moving to your yoni. Massaging the yoni in a tantric present way is a whole practice in itself so do your best and have fun with the rest of your masturbation. 
Namaste
Yabyummy
25 Responses to “Self Pleasure Ritual (Women)”
Leave a Reply
Kypris Drake, M.S., M.A. at kypris@yabyummy.com or 760 522-2554
Home | Sitemap | Services | Teachers | Events | Rituals | Blog | Vision | Store | Resources
© YabYummy.com 2006 - 2010 All Rights Reserved
No part of this website may be reproduced without permission.
Yabyummy is proudly powered by
WordPress
December 21st, 2011 at 1:42 am
Hi there,
It sounds like there is some healing for you to do, and to explore that further my book might be of help to you. It’s written as a self study guide to healing your sexuality and has many solo exercises to help with exploring what is blocking you. You can find it here: http://www.yabyummy.com/store/books/journey-to-sexual-wholeness.htm. Please let me know how it all turns out or if I can support you further. Namaste, Kypris
December 14th, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Kypris,
I found your article when trying to find some help. I really enjoyed it and wonder if you can offer some specific advice for me. I seem to go in and out of interest in self pleasure but lately I have been experiencing something very peculiar. My mind is interested, but my emotions and body feel blocked. When I breath into my heart I just feel pain, and then when I think about self pleasuring it feels almost as if I loath myself. I also feel lately like I have lost any connection to anything “divine”. I feel like there is an answer here somewhere. I would appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks for the article and any thoughts you care to share!
October 21st, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Simply beautiful, thank you dear Goddess Kypris for your courage and creavity to bring this forward and share this with so many of us that have forgotten how to truly connect with our beings. I have practiced meditation daily for a year and a half now and have had many profound spiritual experiences but have never quite managed to integrate my spiritual connection into my sexual experiences. Dedicating the time this evening to gifting myself with this ritual has not only aided me to dissolve some blockages that have accumulated over time around my heart and sacral chakras but to really feel Spirit in myself and myself in Spirit. As I lay there I felt the stars, infinite and shining above and the crystal core pulsating below me and how infinitely we are all connected.. it felt like coming home. My love and deepest gratitude to you x
February 18th, 2011 at 11:03 pm
I have always felt very guilty about self pleasuring. I discovered it at a very early age when my mother caught me touching myself. I was too young to really know what I was doing but my mother’s reaction alone spoke volumes.This combined with a religious background always caused me tremendous guilt.The teaching of sex and pleasure outside of marriage was so damaging to me.I am not married. My mind tells me that as a single woman I too have the right to experience pleasure but I cannot overcome the whole guilt thing completely.
I want to be able to truly rejoice in my body and the pleasure it gives me but how does one completely ‘let go’ of these misconceptions and be more fully alive? I still self pleasure and have for years but I still feel guilt.Your self pleasure ritual is very good and affirming.But how do you get rid of years of guilt around this whole issue? I would appreciate your comments.
October 19th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Hi Julie, thanks for your honest sharing. One of the things that has really helped me heal around my masturbation practice is to consciously take on a SPIRITUAL masturbation practice. It starts just with setting the intention to offer up masturbation as a sacred act to the divine, and a sacred gift to myself. One thing that might help you with making this shift is to learn to give yourself a yoni massage. While this is a different kind of healing than a yoni massage given by your beloved or by a sexual healer, it is still very powerful. If you want to learn more about how to do this, what I suggest is to work with the yoni massage video, but convert it to a practice you are doing on yourself. Please let me know if you have any more questions about how you might do that. You can find the video here: http://www.yabyummy.com/store/videos/tantric-massage-and-yoni-massage.htm
October 19th, 2010 at 11:00 am
I used to really enjoy masterbation and always felt really good and comfortable connecting with myself. Then 3 years ago I found out that my husband had an affair with some one at work, we have worked through this and have come out stronger as a couple but I now find it really hard to masterbate unless I think about them having sex and when we have sex I will only orgasm if I do it myself. I really need and want us to get back to the place where I don’t control all the emotion related to my yoni.
September 16th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Dear Ten,
Self Pleasuring to pronography isn’t “wrong”, it’s just another way of doing it. There is great joy to be had in masturbating to visuals of beautiful women. The type of self pleasuring I am describing here is just a different approach that allows you to explore the deep spiritual aspects of your sexuality. Sacred Sexual Self Pleasure has the potential to lead you into multiple orgasms, whole body orgasms, and deep spiritual bliss. To learn more about these states and practices, a great resource is my book, which was written as a self-study guide. You can find it here and order as a download or print book: http://www.yabyummy.com/store/books/journey-to-sexual-wholeness.htm
September 16th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
I am a male, what I do when I do this is just think about (and I don’t want this to sound barbaric because you seem like a sophisticated woman)pornogrophy I’ve watched in the past, is this wrong ?
August 23rd, 2010 at 9:32 pm
Woah I am still young but I was really impressed , I don’t really masturbate that often but this ritual made me look at masturbation in a whole different way .
thanks for that
July 14th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
All I Have To Say Is That It Really Works
July 13th, 2010 at 7:36 am
I’m a male (obviously by my name) and I’ve been masturbating for years and I always felt guilty about lurid fantasies that I would have, which I am not willing to disclose the contents of. When trying this, however, I’ve learned to see masturbation and my body completely differently. I did not feel guilty and it was a much more satisfying experience, exploring my whole body.
(Since I am Christian, I decided to connect to God’s spirit in the same way this article says to connect to the Spirit. It was a very spiritually fulfilling time!)
June 7th, 2010 at 4:53 am
I have always had a hard time with self-pleasure, I usually take the short cut. (vibrator)
This really helps, I always knew mindset was half the battle. Thanks
April 20th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Wow i loved ur approach to this , i have tried masturbating before but with ur technique its the first time i orgasmed. I think its good your encouraging this and teaching rather than saying how wrong it is
March 10th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
wow, i’m single and for a long time have wondered why i couldnt get any pleasure from whatever i did, but this…
its amazing i cant thank you enough i feel like my worries just floated away, its the best i’ve felt for a long time and i have finally become aware of what my own hands can do,
thank you <3
September 19th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Dear John,
That’s a great question, and the answer is yes, it’s not that different for men, only the body parts are different. Tantric Self Pleasure is an art unto itself, and treating even this time with yourself as sacred can have great rewards, whether you are a man or woman. For men, the biggest piece is to stay without goals, so not to have a goal for orgasm, but rather to simply to stay present with yourself and what gives you pleasure.
September 19th, 2009 at 5:10 am
I guess this wouldn’t be that different if this would be also for men, or what do you say?
February 14th, 2009 at 7:48 am
I love this!! It is so great! I was able to really feel my body. I don’t think i have ever felt my breast this way before~
February 13th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Namaste Madam,
I just want to tell you that you have done a great job to encourage women for self pleasuring. but there is a problem with my girl friend that she cant enjoy her yoni because of shy plz solve this thanks..
January 6th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Dear Uzmii,
I applaud your courage and willingness to go forward in learning self pleasure. While connecting with another woman might be one way to learn to appreciate your body more fully, in the end it will not solve the problem of shame and guilt. I recommend that instead, you start by doing some things to get acquainted with your body. Perhaps you are not ready to jump right in to self pleasuring. One way to begin would be to take some time to look at your body nude in a full length mirror, and practice feeling love for yourself, maybe even saying “I love you” to your reflection. Another great practice is to begin noticing the sensuality of different types of things on your skin, like water, feathers, faux fur, or velvet. Taking time to awaken your senses and love yourself is a great preparation for the self pleasure ritual itself. Namaste, Kypris
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Dear Gina,
I can really relate to your shyness about letting your boyfriend pleasure you in this way, but I encourage you to be open to trying it. It may help to try pleasuring yourself first, to get used to the notion of this way of experiencing your sexuality, and also so you can share with him about what you like. I do understand how much shame and guilt can be associated with masturbation. Most of us have been told that it is wrong or dirty or shameful. My own experience is that once I let go of these ideas that other people had given me, I found that masturbation was a really wonderful way to connect to myself and my sexuality, and it also feels really good! As for your boyfriend, it may be that he really wants to please you and make you feel good in this way, and letting him give that to you could be a tremendous gift for him and open you up to a deeper and more pleasureful sexual connection with him.
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:23 am
Thanks a lot for such kind information’s about women’s self pleasure. Exactly the same happen with me. I feel shame and guilt even after marriage still I cant touch my body specially the lower part in between my legs. My husband says you are varying hot & sexy but I don’t know exactly how much I am really. Now I have make my mind to start self pleasure as per you advice for fully arousal & enjoy the sex. Now I want to know who I am & how much power of sex I have in my body.
I have red some where that “a woman can not know and fully enjoy the sex drive, emotions, arousing & erotic feelings until she knows herself and loves her body but this could be possible until she touches a woman body. To feel the real touch of a woman body will give you more awareness that how much power of sex do you have in you body”.
Is it right way. Please guide me. Even my husband is agree and happy to watch us or hear about the real touch. But the question is how, when where this will be possible
December 30th, 2008 at 7:00 am
my current boyfriend wants to masterbate me before intercourse, i can’t let him do this as i am so shy and embarrassed as i have never masterbated. i feel trapped as i want to please him but don’t know what to do. please advise me before i lose him
December 18th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Dear Shelly,
Thank you for your question about self pleasure. I really understand what you shared about the feelings of guilt that come with self pleasure, and at the same time want to affirm that battling this guilt can be very challenging. For me, it is a continuing journey to keep reassuring myself that I deserve to enjoy my sexuality, and that self pleasure is one way that I can make that choice for myself! Even when I do have a partner, self pleasure is an important part of my sexuality.
As for hysterectomy, there are a couple of considerations, but in general yes, you will still be able to experience pleasure. Women are lucky because there isn’t really just one place in our genitals that contains our sexual response. We can feel very sexual in our vagina, in the g-spot, in the clitoris, in the cervix, and in the uterus. You may experience a change in how sexual pleasure feels to you after a hysterectomy, but many women report that they still have very healthy sex lives. Others feel less interested in sex afterward.
The women I know who have had hysterectomies have chosen hormone replacement therapy afterward to assist in still feeling sexual, and also to reduce the symptoms of sudden menopause. This is a personal choice, and I would suggest that you talk to your doctor and do some internet research to see what women are saying about the differences in their sexuality around this choice.
Big Hugs and Namaste,
Kypris
November 28th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Hi,
I enjoyed your article about self pleasure. I have felt guilty about self pleasure, but I need to feel fully female, fully alive. Since I do not have a partner, I am trying to not feel guilty about self pleasure sometimes…
My question is about hysterectomy. I have a condition that is causing pain and discomfort and a hyterectomy is strongly suggested. Will I be able to feel like a real woman after a hysterectomy?
Thank you for your article. If possible, please reply.
Thank you!
Shelly
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:10 am
[...] was particularly nervous about doing this self-pleasure masturbation ritual. I just got the feeling that something pivotal was going to happen and that always incites my ego [...]