Lingam Massage
To see a sample of our sacred lingam massage video click the play button to your left or immediately download the tantric lingam massage video from our store.
Lingam Massage or Sacred Lingam Healing. Lingam is the Sanskrit word for the penis. It literally means "wand of light". Lingam massage is the ritual of honoring and healing this part of the body. Touching the penis not from a place of arousal and orgasm but from a joy and wonder of this beautiful part of the body.
Difficulty with premature ejaculation, or improving male sexual stamina can often be healed through loving nurturing of the lingam. Through this sacred ritual, you learn to release old beliefs that are keeping you from your full potential as a lover, and your full enjoyment of your sexuality.
The Lingam Massage Ceremony
Begin by Creating Sacred Space for your ceremony.
After you have created a beautiful space for the ritual, begin the solo practice of grounding and centering yourself so you can fully come into partnership. A great way to do this is by practicing our Sacred Tree Meditation.
Connecting to your partner
Now that you are deeply connected to your own life force and to the life force of Earth and Sky, begin to connect your roots to your partner’s roots, allowing the connection to feel sexual and spiritual at the same time. You may notice tingling, heat, or arousal when you make this connection. Once your roots are connected, imagine that you are connecting your branches also. Inhale and exhale together, synchronizing your breath to help synchronize your energy levels, making it more easy to come into a connection that contains both stillness, mindfulness, and sexual arousal.
Once you have an energy connection, come into a physical connection, holding hands, touching knees, woman sitting in the man’s lap, or whatever position is comfortable for the two of you. Keep breathing and feeling your energy connection as you come together physically.
Now that you are connected physically, imagine that your hearts are linking together with vines or energy cords. Really feel that your hearts are connected to each other, and that you could send energy back and forth at this place. Add your eyes next, just gently connecting and looking into each other.
Beginning the Ritual–Creating Relaxation
Now you are ready to move into the first phase of the lingam massage, where you focus on helping your man to relax and drop into the tantric space, where there are no goals. This is sacred ritual, and while sexuality and arousal is welcomed and encouraged as part of the ritual, it is important to stay out of the habits of the past. Rather than being a simple hand job (which of course can be yummy!) this is a ceremony designed to allow a man to experience sexual touch with no need to give back or perform in any particular way.
This may be the first time a man has ever experienced this type of touch, and it is really a gift. Be willing to stay present, as if you are meditating, whether you are giving or receiving in this ritual. If you are giving the massage, let your sexual energy flow as healing energy through your hands, breathing it up from your genitals to your heart, and then out through your arms and hands, into your partner’s body and lingam. If you are receiving, really let yourself take in your partner’s energy, and let down any walls you may have. Stay present and out of the need to make love or ejaculate by breathing and staying present. This is not about orgasm, and it’s not about performance. Any state of arousal that you are in is perfect. The man doesn’t have to be hard or soft for any part of this ritual.
See our Tantric Massage ritual for more information on how to perform tantric massage.
Waking up the sexual energy
Have your partner roll over onto his back now, and reposition the pillows so that he is comfortable. You may want to put one pillow under each knee, leaving his legs spread a little bit apart, and another pillow under his head to cushion his neck.
Once your man is comfortable, return to the still touch that you used on his back, and remember to breathe. Gently place one hand over his lingam, cupping the whole penis. While that hand remains still, use your other hand to massage the front of the man’s body, beginning with his belly and stomach. Too much tension in this part of a man’s body stifles the sexual energy. Relaxing here allows a man to hold more sexual charge and to have powerful sexual arousal.
Keep your still hand on the man’s lingam for this entire section of the massage, and move to massaging the chest, the nipples, the heart, the neck, the throat. Let your touch begin to be a little more sensual and sexual, bringing the sexual energy slowly online.
Loving the pelvis.
Now that you have loved your man’s entire body with your touch, it is time to focus in on the groin and lingam. The muscles in the groin hardly ever receive much touch, and massaging here can release lots of tension for your man. Ask your beloved to open his legs if he feels comfortable, and make sure each knee is supported by a pillow. As you are working with the groin muscles, there is no need to avoid the genitals, but no need to focus on them either. Simply allow your hand to brush them if you happen to be passing by as you massage the hips, groin, and thighs.
Gently massage the hip joints, beginning with the crease between the scrotum and the leg, being gentle and checking in with your partner about what pressure feels good. Continue toward the buttocks, massaging around all the muscles surrounding the front and back of where the thigh bone connects in to the pelvis.
Next massage the thighs again, helping them to loosen up and relax.
Massaging the Lingam and Ejaculation Mastery
Now you are ready to begin focusing entirely on the genitals. During the lingam massage, be sure to connect with the whole penis, all the way down to its root. Also be sure to make contact with the scrotum and with the perineum. or "tweeny" (the place between the scrotum and the anus). Have your oil or lube handy, and use it generously to prevent any abrasion on the lingam. Our favorite oil for this practice is organic grape seed oil, that we buy in the food section of our local health food store.
Start by touching the scrotum, gently stroking it, and perhaps even drawing out and massaging the skin of the scrotum (check with your man to see if this feels good to him. Be careful NOT to squeeze the man’s testicles.
Now focus on the penis, and do your best to stay out of old habits of giving a "hand job" to create a sexual release. Instead, massage the lingam as you massaged the man’s entire body: slowly, sensually, and with arousal. Use your breath to stay present and feel the energy flowing from your hands into the lingam. You may also find energy flowing back the other way, into you from the lingam! If that happens it is natural, and you can just breathe it in, enjoy it, and continue. If you find that your man is getting close to ejaculation and you would like the lingam massage to continue a little longer, there are some tools you can use to help him enjoy the massage a little while longer. First, ask him to tell you when he is getting close to an ejaculation by saying "yellow" or "red". When this happens, take your hands away from his lingam immediately, and ask him to breathe in very deeply, then breathe out a strong exhale and relax his entire body and belly, and imagine discharging the sexual energy through his feet.
There are a number of different ways to massage the lingam, and most of them involve some kind of stroking on the shaft or the head of the penis. Use your intuition just as you did in the body massage about what feels right to give to your partner. Remember that it doesn’t matter if the man is hard or soft for this part, only that he is breathing, relaxing, and receiving your touch. This is a healing ritual, and its only focus is on the man receiving your touch, not on creating an orgasm. If that happens it’s wonderful, but is NOT a goal. Men should work on staying out of fantasy and staying in their body, always returning to the breath and focusing on the woman’s touch. For them it is a practice of simply seeing what it is like to FEEL a woman’s touch without any expectations on where it will go. In general, SLOW stroking allows you to stay more present in your touch and energy.
When you feel complete with this part of the ceremony, then conclude by again placing a still hand on the lingam, cupping it, and place your other hand on the man’s heart, or 3rd eye (whichever seems appropriate to you). Breathe together.
Closing the Ceremony
End the ceremony by coming into full body contact with your man. Choose the position that is most comfortable for the two of you to cuddle in. Spend some time breathing together and letting the energy come down.
When you are ready, close your ceremony by thanking your guides, teachers, the directions, and any other forces you have asked to assist you in holding space. Bask in the glow of your ritual, and ground yourselves with food and sharing about your experience.
25 Responses to “Lingam Massage”
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Kypris Drake, M.S., M.A. at kypris@yabyummy.com or 760 522-2554
Dr. Steven Jay at steven@yabyummy.com or 619 321-8599
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February 6th, 2010 at 11:31 am
This blog is pretty informative for someone whom has also been having issues with this situation. I have looked at countless resources to no avail. I will continue readingg and learning here in the hope of finally getting past this barrier.
January 19th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Dear Maria,
Thank you so much for your question. The videos were originally designed for couples to learn to practice these rituals together. But since their release, we have found the videos also useful for singles to learn self-pleasure practices, and for practitioners to learn healing practice. The practice that is shown in these videos can absolutely be used as part of training for sacred sexual healing, but there is a lot more to that training than just the hands-on practice. We do offer an apprentice training program, please contact me at kypris@yabyummy.com if you would like to learn more about that.
Namaste
January 17th, 2010 at 10:17 am
Hi, I’m a massage therapist from England… and I am very interested in learning tantric massage. Are these DVDs designed and suitable for someone like me to learn and actually apply the massages in a proffessional capacity?
I love the samples that I have seen o your site…
In Light
Maria
November 16th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I just wanted to comment on the connection that eludes so many couples through the essence of touch. This is also a way to bring communication into the bedroom in a more intrinsic and pleasurable way. I love the overall technique and the way you show your audience that being submissive yet entreated is a sexual enlightment that all married couples should get to know. I apprecciate the video and the written materials. Keep doing what you do. This may be the healing touch needed to keep bored, tired, marital beds alive. Again, I say thanks, for showing so many that tastefulness not the tackiness of porno is needed to enhance marital bonds of submissiveness; but allowing each person to see that it is not about me but about pleasing my mate. Your work is very much appreciated and I will share your website with those who have shared their bedroom horrors with me.
The Listener of the Sexually Broken…
October 4th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Dear Krishna,
Yes, lingam massage can help, and in fact there is a section in the video that specifically talks about the practice of ejaculation mastery, learning to master your sexual energy and as a result mastering your ejaculation.
Namaste,
October 4th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Dear Krishna,
Please email me directly at kypris@yabyummy.com to talk about this further.
Namaste,
Kypris
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:13 am
Dear Kypris,
Namaste,
Congratulations on the wonderful video and pics. I have a problem of premature ejaculation. Can lingam massage help me? If so please advise me how do i go about it. My Partner and I always always enjoy till the last moment, but before that i ejaculate prematurely. The care and the tender love you had given to stephen is amazing. Many thanks in advance,
Regards,
Krishna V
July 20th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Dear Eddie,
Thank you for your post. I’m not certain from your comments whether you have done any training in the past with ejaculatory mastery. There is a series of practices that can help with this, which include a particular type of breath, some visualization, and training the body to relax. There is a short bit of this in our lingam massage video, or I would be happy to email with you privately about coaching sessions.
Namaste,
Kypris
July 17th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Hello Kypris..
I’ve had a loss in serotonin levels in the brain over a period of about 10 ears thus causing a grandual diminishing of my libido, energy, ability to prevent premature ejaculation and of course erectile dysfunction. Once I realized my low to no serotonin, I have since been in process of replacing the necessary supply and maintaining supplementation using a variable of natural supplements, 5HTP and Tryptophan to name a couple.
Though I’m on the mend, I have found that during masterbation, I can’t seem to hold back from prematurely-ejaculating and would like to master sustained-ejaculation once again.
You have a wonderful website by the way and your sample video I have found to be in very good taste.
Sincerely
Eddie
June 29th, 2009 at 7:06 am
As I watched the lingam massage video, I saw the tender care and love that Kpyris was giving to Stephen. Then I became more aware of the purpose of the ritual; it seemed designed to hold, direct and prolong the sensations of the experience. It obviously took discipline and practice to accomplish what they did together. Overall, the lingam massage ritual seems to take what is an overlooked and ignored part of the human experience and bring it forth in a fully alive and emotional way.
June 16th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Dear Angel,
Thanks for asking about Tantric massage and lingam massage. In my experience the lingam massage can be a wonderful gift for a man who is sometimes having trouble with erection. One thing that it can do is help a man learn to allow more of his energy and focus to stay on that part of his body in a no-pressure environment. The great thing about lingam massage is that there is no requirement for a man to be aroused, it is simply a practice of loving him through touch with no goals or expectations. For most men this can be a very healing experience. For his birthday I would suggest that you try the lingam massage. It will probably easiest to do if you have the video to follow along with, as it has a lot more detail than the written description.
Let us know how it works out!
Namaste,
Kypris
June 15th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I am in a relationship wiht a gentleman that is well into his sixties, and the few times that we have made love he has sometimes been able to stay hard and at other times not able to. He has told me that he has been taking shots for his prostate, which can diminish his sex drive (so that could explain his ability to stay aroused). He has told me that it does bother him, because he wants to make love to me passionately, but concerned with his ability of staying up.
I have heard of Tantra Massage, and was planning on introducing this into our relationship on his birthday. Do you think that this will help him? He is healthy and stays fit for his age. His heart is strong, not diabetic, and no hypertension problems.
I am hoping that this will enhance our relationship, as well as our sexual relationship. And which massages would you suggest for his birthday?
Thanks,
Angel
May 9th, 2009 at 6:32 am
Thanks so much for your question about ED (erectile dysfunction). Whether or not lingam massage can help depends upon your individual situation. For some men, ED is largely caused by a physical condition, like diabetes or low testosterone levels. For others, ED is more a result of a body that isn’t moving sexual energy properly, and that is something that lingam massage can help with, through coaching in breathing, relaxation, and building sexual energy. Please feel free to email me directly for more information: kypris@yabyummy.com.
May 8th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
hi there, i am a 32 yr old male, and hav erection dysfunction, also very low sperm. i want to ask if massage the cure for such problems,
January 14th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
[...] to give the joy of a Lingam Massage in this live video recording of our Lingam Massage Ritual available immediately for [...]
December 29th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Hi Calabehra,
An important concept in tantra is that we say YES. This means that whatever you are doing in the moment is perfect. So if in the moment you are not hard that is perfect too. There are a lot of strokes you can do on the penis that work better when it is semi-erect. Such as bending the penis to point towards your toes and then gently pulling using a corkscrew motion from the base to the tip. We are scheduled to film a Lingam massage Video in Febuary. You can pre-order it from our store.
December 16th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
hello! i`m 34yo and i`m having lots of problems keeping it hard,my partner its great and enjoyed the time together but after awhile it goes down,its there anyway that me and my partner can learn the technique so we both enjoy the pleasure of this interesting way of life.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:48 am
I am very much looking forward to continuing our journey
October 28th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I don’t have a lot of experience preforming a lingam massage with medication. My intuition would be try the massage without medication first. The lingam massage ritual is intended to honor and love this part of a mans body unconditionally, regardless of the “state” of the lingam. We have certainly seen cases with men who have had there prostate removed receiving a lot of pleasure from this massage without ever becoming fully erect. Before starting the massage make it clear that the goal is simply to love and honor him, that there is no goal of erection, ejaculation or love making. For many men this will be a huge relief.
October 27th, 2008 at 9:16 am
Unfortunately, since my husband has had his prostate removed in 2002, the ability for him to achieve optimum results behind closed doors dramatically declined in presence. We tried 3 major medications. While one worked, it was uncontrollable and would make sleeping for him (and me since I was right next to him) quite difficult for up to a 4 hour period. The other 2 medications worked a little better as far as control, but was not as effective when it was “time.” Needless to say, I went to the link on the Lingam Massage. I was wondering if it would be more effective if this massage were performed right after my husband ingests one of these meds or should I wait a while before trying? I don’t want to harm him especially when it is in an area that is usually very sensitive to even the slightest touch. Thank you.
October 8th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
The most relaxing, peaceful and soulful day of my life was the day of our first session. I am very much looking forward to continuing our journey, as I have found a place of bliss inside that can never be taken away no matter how frantic life may get. I just think back to how I felt the day of our first session and I remember that being in such a pure place is possible.
Thank you.
Much love,
m
March 18th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Dear David,
Lingam massage is best done as a private session. In general, a course of three sessions is a good start, but this can vary according to how fast your body responds to the work. With our clients who do this type of continuing work, we often meet once a week or once every two weeks. You can choose to work with me alone, or with Steven and I together, utilizing his expertise as a coach. The first session is three hours–one hour to talk and get clear about your specific needs and challenges, then two hours of hands-on work. The second and third sessions are approximately two hours each. The donation for a series of three sessions is $1225, or you can choose to try an individual session for $490. If you are interested in scheduling a session with me, you can email me directly at: kypris@yabyummy.com, or phone me at 760-522-2554.
Namaste,
Kypris
March 15th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Thank you for your reply. My next question: how many sessions should I plan on? How often? How much? Time of day? etc. Is this just with you one on one, or a group , or with you and another?
Sorry for all the questions I just want to know what to expect.
Thanks
David
March 13th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Dear David,
This is a great question, thanks for asking. I have not worked with men who have had their prostate removed, but I did attend a lingam massage class several months ago, and one of the men in the class had his prostate removed. He was attending the class in hopes that it would help him increase sensitivity in his lingam. At the end of the class, he reported that he noticed a definite increase in sensation just during the course of the lingam massage in the class! it is my understanding that lingam massage can help restore sensitivity to the lingam not just through physical touch, but also through helping you increase your awareness of your lingam and how it holds energy. In my work with men, teaching them the “trick” of learning to breathe into their lingam and to increase their attention to touch on this part of their body can be a major awakening.
March 10th, 2008 at 6:54 am
Do you ever work with Prostate cancer patients who have had their prostate removed? I can still achieve erection, but neural sensitivity is diminished, and I was wondering if this coul dhelp restore sensitivity.
Thank you
David